The Power of Surrender Allowing a Greater Intelligence to Guide Your Life | Kute Blackson

Surrendering isn't about giving up; it's about opening up to a greater flow of life that can lead you to more than you ever imagined.

The next level of our life, whatever that vision is, requires the next level of you. In our culture, there are many misconceptions about surrender. People often think, "If I surrender, I'm going to be weak," or "If I surrender, I'm not going to manifest my goals, dreams, and desires." But what if you didn’t get less? What if you got more—more than you could have even planned, more than you could have goal set? What if it was maybe not what you expected, but what if it was better? What if it was beyond?

I believe that surrender is the most powerful thing that we can do. The real secret to manifestation lies between acceptance and surrender, and there is a phase that most people miss. That phase is when this intelligence that is life starts to flow. You don’t have to know where you’re going, but if you simply say yes to the most authentic impulse and then go all in, life will take you on a journey and force you to evolve beyond your current level of consciousness. Surrender opens us up to a deeper way of living beyond the mind.

Hey everyone, welcome back to No Myself. Our guest today is a spiritual leader and transformational teacher, the author of the bestselling books You Are the One and The Magic of Surrender. For over a couple of decades now, he has been supporting individuals and organizations in finding deeper surrender, acceptance, aligning them with their intuition, and ultimately finding their full potential. C. Blackon, thank you so much for being here.

It's a joy to be here. Let's make some magic, man! Yes, let’s celebrate by acknowledging that there is a greater intelligence in our life that is guiding us. The more we start to tap into this, the more we can expect from this conversation. What can the listener today expect to gain by surrendering and listening to that intelligence?

Freedom—like real freedom. I think it’s the freedom to flow, the freedom to be themselves, the freedom to live life, and the freedom to express themselves. It’s a freedom beyond their mind, beyond their past, and beyond limitations. At the deepest level, we all want to experience and feel free. So many of the things that we do and seek in life are a quest for a deeper freedom. From our conversation today, freedom is the promise; freedom is the way.

I think when people hear the word surrender, they often associate it with giving up or submitting to an authority. I would love for you to share your definition of what it means to live from a place of true surrender, where you’re not giving up but rather giving into a greater flow of life and finding that freedom. We all have moments of it, and it sounds amazing to live from that place where it’s not just a philosophical perspective of surrendering but an embodied deep acceptance.

Can you define how you use the term surrender?

I think in our culture, there are many different definitions of surrender and many misconceptions. Surrender is not necessarily seen as a positive thing. We often define surrender as giving up, as waving the white flag, or being passive. People think, "If I surrender, I'm going to be weak," or "If I surrender, I'm going to be lazy." Based on those definitions, who would want to surrender? Deep down, we know there’s a sense that we need to surrender; it’s what we’re taught and what we hear on the spiritual path. Yet, there is an innate resistance to surrendering.

There’s a misconception that if I surrender, I’m going to be taken advantage of or that I’m going to get less in life. Who wants less? I’m actually saying, "No, if you really understand the real essence of surrender, real surrender, what if you didn’t get less but what if you got more?" More than you could have even planned, more than you could have goal set, more than you could have imagined, more than you could have visualized with the limitations of your conscious ego mind. What if it was maybe not what you expected, but what if it was better? What if it was beyond?

When I look at the most amazing things that have happened in my life—like meeting my wife or having a child—most of those things we don’t plan. We didn’t sit there and script out, "I’m going to meet my soulmate at the coffee shop on Monday at 7:00 p.m., and it’s going to happen this way." Most of it just kind of happened in the process of living life, in the process of following a sense, an intuition, a feeling.

=> 00:05:15

Surrender isn't about giving up; it's about opening up to possibilities beyond your wildest dreams. Let go of control and allow life to flow through you.

Understanding the real essence of surrender is crucial for personal growth and manifestation. Real surrender invites us to consider a profound possibility: what if you didn't get less, but instead, you received more? More than you could have even planned, more than you could have set as goals, and more than you could have imagined with the limitations of your conscious ego mind. What if it was not what you expected, but rather something better—something beyond your wildest dreams?

Reflecting on my own life, I recognize that some of the most amazing experiences, such as meeting my wife and having a child, were not meticulously planned. We didn’t script out our lives, saying, "I will meet my soulmate at the coffee shop on Monday at 7:00 p.m., and it will happen this way." Instead, these moments unfolded naturally as we lived life, following our intuition and feelings.

What I want people to understand about surrender is that surrender is the most powerful thing we can do. It is the real secret to manifestation, allowing for unlimited and authentic manifestation. Surrender acts as the real password to freedom. When I look at the great figures who have inspired me—such as Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Bruce Lee—I see a common thread. Bruce Lee famously said, "You have to be like water." This statement reflects the essence of surrender; it emphasizes the need to flow and adapt. Water takes the shape of whatever container it is in, illustrating the importance of flexibility and surrender.

The truly great individuals I admire were magnificent not because of their ego intelligence or brilliance, but because they reached a point in their lives where they chose to surrender. They let go of the idea of the life they thought they should live or the path they believed they should take. They surrendered to the deeper calling of their souls, allowing what was truly meant to be expressed through them. This act of surrender often leads us down unexpected paths, as the real intelligence of life is far greater than what our minds can comprehend.

When we surrender, we transcend our egos and tap into a dimension of life that exceeds our current understanding. This is when the intelligence of life—the force that is living and breathing us all—begins to flow through us, manifesting in ways we cannot even imagine.

To define surrender, it is fundamentally a letting go of control, or more accurately, the illusion that we are truly in control. Many aspects of life are beyond our control, and surrender involves releasing the idea of who we think we should be and how we believe our lives should look. It is about opening ourselves up—our perceptions and our availability—to allow life to unfold.

The old paradigm often revolves around the limited question: "What do I want?" Your podcast, "Know Thyself," emphasizes the importance of self-awareness. However, if we do not truly know ourselves, how can we accurately identify what we want? Often, what we believe we want is merely a reflection of who we think we are, shaped by traumas, unmet needs, and childhood programming.

Consequently, you might achieve everything you thought you wanted, only to realize that it is not what you truly desired. It is essential to recognize that our goals, dreams, desires, relationships, and visions can be mere projections of our past experiences. The limited, ego-based way of living life focuses on knowing what you want, being clear about it, and writing it down. However, true fulfillment lies in understanding who we really are and what we genuinely desire beyond the confines of our ego.

=> 00:09:45

True fulfillment comes from asking not what you want, but what life wants to express through you.

In our journey of self-discovery, we often find ourselves wanting based on who we think we are. If we are not in touch with the true authentic essence of who and what we really are, then what we think we want—our goals, dreams, desires, relationships, and visions—can become mere projections of traumas and unmet needs stemming from childhood. Consequently, one might achieve everything they believed they wanted, only to realize that what they thought they wanted is not what they truly desired; it's simply a reflection of who they thought they were.

For me, the limited, old paradigm—an ego-based way of living—centers around the question, "What do I want?" We are often encouraged to know what we want, to be clear about it, to write it down, and to pursue it vigorously. While this approach can lead to the creation and manifestation of amazing things, my personal experience has shown that we will eventually reach the edge or the end of our ego's capacity to manifest. This realization marks the beginning of a new phase in life, one that I believe is the beginning of surrender.

The question that symbolizes surrender is a different, more unlimited inquiry: "What is it that life is seeking to express through me?" This question invites us to explore what life wants to manifest through our actions, words, and creations. By attuning ourselves to this deeper impulse, we can align our minds, egos, and personalities with it. This alignment allows us to structure our lives, resources, finances, and money around the deepest expression of what feels most true to us.

Surrender opens us up to a deeper way of living that transcends the mind. This deeper way involves shifting our focus from asking, "What do I want from life?" to "What does life want of me?" If life is to unfold in ways greater than we could ever imagine, then the events must transpire in unpredictable ways—ways that our minds and egos cannot foresee.

All the great individuals we admire had unique essences that emerged through them, often amidst significant challenges and struggles. I believe we all possess a unique essence that is trying to emerge from within us. An individual finds true success to the degree that they make space for this unique essence to come forth. However, we are often conditioned by our personalities, families, and societies to think about what we should want, rather than allowing the space to listen to what wants to emerge.

In my own life, I have discovered that making space for silence and stillness is crucial for examining what arises. This process of emergence feels like a flower blooming from within. In contrast, the egoic imperative operates as a top-down phenomenon, while true emergence is a bottom-up experience. The most beautiful aspects of life, which contribute to our appreciation and freedom, often stem from this inner emergence.

Having worked with many individuals over the past couple of decades, I have helped them transition from ego to soul, from ego to heart-based living, unlocking their intuition and finding that place of surrender. The process of making this shift involves moving from a mindset dominated by the ego to one that allows for acceptance of what is and embraces deep surrender.

One important point to frame this conversation is that surrender is our natural state. It is what is inherently natural to us, even though it may feel distant or intimidating. Many of us find ourselves trapped in our ego conditioning, believing that the version of ourselves we currently embody is the only version that exists. However, true liberation lies in recognizing and embracing the essence that seeks to emerge from within us.

=> 00:14:05

Surrender is our true nature; it's the ego that creates the illusion of control and separation. Reconnect with that childlike essence, and you'll find freedom in simply being.

You see, as the process to really make that shift from being in the mind and the egoic imperative to finding some allowing of what's there, to the acceptance of what is, to that deep surrender, it’s essential to walk us through how you've seen that become an embodied place from which people can actually live.

One thing I want to say is that, just to frame the conversation of what you're saying, surrender is, I feel, actually our natural state. It’s what is natural to us, even though it feels like this thing that we're a bit afraid of and is far off. Many of us are trapped in our ego conditioning, living from it and thinking that the version of ourselves that we are living is who we are. We often say, "This is just who I am," but we don't realize that we are actually conditioned from childhood patterns, programming, and experiences.

To me, the essence of what we are is that our nature is surrender; it’s natural. The conditioned version of what we are living is actually more unnatural. Over time, through life, this conditioned state has started to feel more normal than the surrendered state that is truly natural. When I look at a child—like my 15 or 16-month-old baby boy—I see this truth reflected. He is so free, so surrendered; he just flows with whatever arises. He cries when he feels like crying, and then he’s done. He’s not carrying that around; he simply follows his feelings.

I think we were all like that once. We all incarnated in touch with that free-flowing energy, with that free-flowing sense of beingness. When I look into my son's eyes, I see pure light and pure Divine Essence looking back at me—unconditioned and free of fear. He jumps off tables without knowing the risks, runs naked through the house, and sings without worrying about how he sounds. He doesn’t think about how he might look on Instagram; he is just surrendered and being, allowing life to flow through him.

This state of being is what is natural, what is normal, and what we truly are. Over time, however, we lose touch with that innate surrendered essence. We are born as these free organic expressive surrendered beings. Then we meet our parents—God bless our parents, as they are just doing the best they know how to do based on their own upbringing and generational patterns of conditioning.

Here we are, pure light, born into a preset structure of conditioning. Our parents may carry trauma and pain, perhaps even dysfunction. Maybe dad is crazy, or mom is an alcoholic, or they fight all the time. Even if they are amazing people, they might not know how to meet our emotional needs, which can be painful. To not have our emotional needs met can feel so painful that several things happen in terms of the conditioning process.

It’s important to understand, in a simple way, how we are conditioned. So, here we are—these free beings meeting our parents, and the conditioning process begins. Slowly, two things happen. The first is that we learn all sorts of strategies to shut down, disconnect, and not feel. We start to suppress the pain we feel when our parents fight. We suppress the anger, helplessness, and sadness, leading to layers upon layers of unprocessed feelings—unprocessed shame, pain, hurt, rage, and resentment—that build up and cover our true light and true selves.

We develop various strategies, mechanisms, and walls to avoid feeling the pain. Our hearts close, and this becomes an egoic mechanism and strategy of control. If I can control certain feelings of helplessness, pain, and hurt, then I don’t have to feel that pain, and I can maintain some semblance of control. Most of this is unconscious; it happens without our awareness.

As we go out into the world, we look around at our caregivers. For instance, when I look at my son, he looks at me and observes everything I do. This dynamic illustrates how we learn and adapt based on our environment and the people around us.

=> 00:18:53

We often become who we think we need to be for love and validation, but that version is just a survival strategy, not our true selves. The journey to authenticity starts with questioning who we really are beneath the layers of conditioning.

Layers of unprocessed feelings can accumulate over time, including unprocessed shame, pain, hurt, rage, and resentment. This resentment starts to build up and begins to cover up our True Light and true selves. As a result, we develop various strategies, mechanisms, and walls to avoid feeling the pain. Consequently, our hearts close, and this becomes an egoic mechanism and strategy of control.

If we can control certain feelings of helplessness, pain, and hurt, we believe we can avoid feeling that pain and maintain some semblance of control. Most of this process occurs unconsciously. We go out into the world and observe our caregivers. For instance, when I look at my son, he looks at me for validation regarding what is good and what is bad. Sometimes, I don’t even need to say anything, but this is how he is being conditioned slowly.

We unconsciously look around at our caregivers and ask ourselves, “Who do I need to be in order to fit in? Who do I need to be in order to have mom love me? Who do I need to be in order to have dad love me? Who do I need to be in order to get validation, love, and comfort?” This leads us to contort ourselves into a certain shape or persona. We become who we think we need to be to gain love, validation, and approval.

As a result, we may become the nice person, the control freak, the funny person, or the independent person. We contort ourselves into a shape, becoming who we think we need to be to receive love, validation, and approval. However, we often do not realize that the version of ourselves we have become, as a strategy for survival, is not who we really are. It is merely a pattern, a result of our conditioning for survival.

Most of us are unaware that who we think we are is not truly authentic. The degree to which we buy into this idea of the version of ourselves that we've become is the degree to which we are not free. To me, this is what ego is: the sense of identification with this version that we've developed based on our past, our conditioning, our childhood, and our belief systems. The more we hold on to this identification, the more limited we become, and the more we are entrenched in ego.

Ego is not a tangible thing; it is simply the process of holding on. When we are in that grip, it becomes difficult to surrender. For the ego, surrender feels like a death—a death of the version of ourselves that we believe we are. However, it is not truly a death of what we really are; it is merely a death of the illusion, the identification, and the persona that we have developed.

We first need to realize that we are conditioned, and most of us are living in a trance, believing we are this version of ourselves. We must ask ourselves, “Is who you are really who you are, or is it who you've been conditioned to be?” Becoming aware of the ways in which we are conditioned can be seen as a first step. It requires a willingness to start questioning ourselves.

It can be terrifying to ask, “Who am I?” because we have come to know ourselves as this person. By becoming this version of ourselves—being nice, being the caretaker, being responsible—we have avoided pain and sought love and validation. We may have even built a level of success in the world based on this version of ourselves. The world, in turn, validates us for being this version, and this validation is constantly reinforced by parents, society, religion, life, family, clients, and the world at large.

The more this reinforcement occurs, the harder it becomes to let go. This is why it takes real courage to begin the process of surrendering. Initially, we live unconsciously, believing, “I am who I am; I'm just this way. I'm just shy, I'm just nice,” and we don’t question it. However, as we grow, the strategies that worked for us when we were young—at ages 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, and so on—often become limiting and stop working for us. They may even start to disrupt our relationships.

For example, if you were someone whose mom or dad was not around, you might have felt helpless and out of control. This feeling can lead to a complex interplay of emotions and behaviors that shape how you interact with the world and yourself.

=> 00:23:47

True freedom begins when we confront our fears and let go of the limiting beliefs that once served us.

Oneself can feel terrifying to the ego because it feels like a death. However, to start the process of surrendering, we have to be willing to see first that we're kind of unconscious, living the life that we're living. We often think, “I am who I am. I'm just this way. I'm just shy. I'm just nice,” and we don’t question these beliefs.

What starts happening is that the strategies that worked for us when we were young—at ages 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, etc.—often reach a point where those ways of being and strategies start becoming limiting. They stop working for us and can begin to screw up our relationships. For instance, maybe someone grew up with a mom or dad who wasn’t around, which felt helpless and out of control. This experience was painful, and so they learned to take care of themselves, thinking, “Screw it, I don’t need anyone. I’ll be independent. I’ll do everything myself and meet my own needs. I don’t need love and I don’t need anyone.”

To allow oneself to need is terrifying. It’s so painful to sit there as a 5-year-old, an 8-year-old, or a 10-year-old hoping that their needs will be met when they are not. As a result, we become this independent person, sometimes a hyper-independent person. While this approach works for us for a time, we will always reach a point in life where that mechanism and strategy of what once worked starts to limit us.

Eventually, someone may find themselves asking, “Why am I not attracting love in my life? Why do I push people away when they get close? Why am I alone?” Up until that moment, we may not realize that deep down, there’s a part of us that is actually not truly available. We are not available to love or to relationships. We want to fall in love, to meet someone, to find our soulmate, but deep down, there might be a part of us that is terrified. To fall in love and to open up requires vulnerability, which means allowing our hearts to open and allowing ourselves to need again.

If everything we have learned has been to avoid feeling that way again, then to really question oneself is terrifying. What starts happening is that we transition from being unconscious in our lives to experiencing the pain and suffering of repetitive patterns, situations, and cycles. Certain aspects of our lives start feeling limited. If we are willing to allow life to teach us—because for me, life is a profound mirror and an energetic feedback mechanism that shows us our deeply held beliefs about ourselves—we can begin to question, “Who am I and what’s really going on? Is this who I really am?”

I may say I’m this independent person or I’m that kind of person, and this process of questioning begins to loosen the grip of our own egoic way of holding ourselves together. This could be seen as the beginning of an opening, or the beginning of a moment of surrender. However, it is so scary to let go because what does letting go mean? What does surrender mean? It can feel like being out of control.

For me, the ego's purpose is not really to fulfill us; rather, it is to protect us—from getting hurt like we were hurt back then. The purpose of the ego is to reinforce its sense of existence, which is why it resists surrender. Surrender is our natural state, but the ego resists it as a self-preservation mechanism.

As we move into the questioning phase, we may begin to wonder if there is more to us than we thought. We start negotiating with ourselves, thinking, “Maybe I don’t have to let go of this way of being. Maybe I can experience freedom without giving up the donuts.” Many of us end up negotiating our lives away, and before we know it, life is over.

There comes a point in the process of surrender where we realize that no matter how much we negotiate, it will not bring us the freedom that we truly seek.

=> 00:28:43

True freedom begins when we stop negotiating with our pain and start accepting our truth.

Surrender can be viewed as a self-preservation mechanism. As we move into the questioning phase, we begin to wonder about our identity: "Maybe there's more; maybe I'm not who I thought I was." This leads us into a phase of negotiation with ourselves. We might think, "Maybe I don't have to let go; maybe I can experience freedom without changing my way of being." For example, "I can get healthy, but I don't have to give up the donuts."

However, many of us end up negotiating our lives away, and eventually, life feels over. There comes a point in the evolution of surrender where we realize that no matter how much we negotiate, it will not bring us the freedom that we want. We must understand that freedom isn't free; it requires a letting go of who we thought we were and the life we've been holding onto. This realization leads us into a phase of acceptance.

It's important to note that acceptance is not surrender. In this phase, we begin to accept what is, what is not, and who we are not. Acceptance might sound like, "I have an issue with alcohol." We become conscious of our struggles and stop negotiating with ourselves. We enter a humble phase of acceptance, acknowledging, "I'm not going to lie to myself anymore."

There is no surrender without truth. This truth-telling might manifest as, "I have a problem with alcohol; I have a problem with donuts; I'm not happy in my relationship; I hate my job." It can be painful to recognize that we are not living our purpose and to feel the gifts inside of us that remain unexpressed. We must be willing to tell ourselves the truth about our feelings and our reality, allowing ourselves to feel without the immediate need for action.

The act of surrendering and telling the truth can create a sneaky pattern of confusion in our minds and egos. The ego often plays a game of confusion, leading us to say, "I'm not sure; I don't know what to do in this relationship." Yet, deep down, we already know. There is a part of us that understands everything because, at the deepest level, we are everything.

This game of confusion is merely an ego strategy of avoidance. If we can take the pressure off ourselves to act, we can begin to engage with the truth. We don't have to leave or make drastic changes immediately; we just need to acknowledge the truth: "I'm not happy." We should allow ourselves to feel this truth and let it move through our bodies without resistance.

Many of us distract ourselves from these feelings through various means—drinking, smoking, engaging in social media, or even meditating as a form of spiritual bypassing. These distractions only cover up unresolved issues, leaving us stuck because we haven't dealt with our deeper feelings.

In this phase of acceptance, we must allow ourselves to feel what we have suppressed and acknowledge the deeper truth that has always been within us. It’s crucial to understand that acceptance is not yet surrender. However, within this phase of acceptance, there is an opening and a deeper freedom. Acknowledging "I have a problem with alcohol" or "I'm no longer fulfilled in my relationship" can be terrifying. We may worry about what this means for the life we've created, especially if we've invested so much in it.

Sometimes, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of success, doing something that no longer aligns with who we are.

=> 00:33:24

True growth begins when we embrace the uncomfortable truths we've been avoiding, allowing ourselves to grieve what no longer serves us. Only then can we truly surrender and evolve.

In our journey of self-discovery, we must feel the things we haven't felt to start the process of letting them go. It is also essential to acknowledge the deeper truth that has always been inside of us. This phase of acceptance is profound; it is important to clarify that acceptance is not yet surrender. In this phase of acceptance, there is an opening, and with it, a deeper freedom emerges.

Many of us face difficult truths, such as "yeah, I have a problem with alcohol" or "I'm no longer fulfilled in my relationship". Acknowledging these truths can be terrifying because it raises questions about what this means for the life we have created. We often feel we have invested so much in our current lives, and the fear of change can be overwhelming. Sometimes, we get caught in a trap of success; we continue doing what works because it brings us recognition and approval. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we may realize that the thing that is working, the thing that we've succeeded at, we are no longer growing in.

In this phase of reflection, I encourage people to sit with a few questions: What lies am I telling myself? What is the truth that I've been unwilling to acknowledge? What is the truth that, if I acknowledged, would set me free? Additionally, we must consider what it is that I'm doing that is working but is actually inhibiting the next level of my evolution. The next level of our life—whatever that vision or destiny may be—requires the next level of you, which necessitates letting go of everything and everyone that is no longer aligned.

Yet, we often hold on to who we were and what we know. We cling to the familiar and the comfortable as an ego strategy for protection. The unknown is daunting; it lacks a perceived sense of control, and the ego seeks to maintain safety by holding on to the known. If we can move into deep acceptance, ruthless acceptance, sober acceptance, we can confront the reality of our situations. For instance, we might ask ourselves, This is who my husband is; am I okay with that? If we cannot accept it, we set ourselves up for suffering. However, if we can embrace acceptance, it creates an opening for a deeper truth and a deeper surrender.

Between acceptance and surrender lies a phase that many people miss. We often understand surrender conceptually; we read about it and watch videos, but we do not always experience the embodied feeling of surrender. This phase is grieving. When we reach true acceptance—acknowledging this is what is, this is who they are, this is what I am, this is what isn't—the next phase is grieving. There is no authentic surrender without grieving. Grieving is the acknowledgment of truth and the willingness to feel and let go. It serves as the doorway and portal to true, authentic surrender.

Unfortunately, in our culture today, we have not been taught how to grieve or feel. We are often conditioned to believe that if we experience grief, sadness, or anything negative, we should simply pop a pill or buy something to numb the pain. This societal tendency to avoid grief prevents us from experiencing true surrender. Sometimes, we fear grief itself, worrying that if we truly grieve, we won't be able to handle it; we think it will be too much or that it will last forever. In this way, the ego plays a significant role in our reluctance to confront our emotions.

=> 00:38:21

Grief isn't something to numb or avoid; it's the gateway to true surrender and transformation. Embrace it fully, and you'll find the layers of pain begin to dissolve.

Grief is a complex emotion that we often struggle to understand in our culture today. We are frequently taught that when we feel grief, sadness, or any negative emotion, the solution is to simply "pop a pill" or buy something online to numb those feelings. This societal conditioning encourages us to numb the grief, rather than confront it. However, it is through grieving that we can achieve true surrender.

Many people are afraid to grieve because they fear that if they allow themselves to truly feel their grief, it will become overwhelming and never end. The ego often employs a sneaky strategy around grieving, leading us to believe that if we do not acknowledge our grief, we do not have to accept that a situation or a person is truly gone. This denial can serve as a form of avoidance, allowing us to cling to what was, rather than facing the reality that my mother is dead or this relationship is over. By refusing to grieve, we may think we can hold on to the past, but in reality, grieving is the pathway to surrender.

Some individuals may insist that they have grieved and felt their emotions, yet they still feel stuck in their grief. I have discovered that all true feelings, including grief, have a natural cycle. No feeling lasts forever. Grieving also has a cycle, and if we allow ourselves to authentically feel our emotions in our bodies—rather than just in our minds—without resistance, we can gradually surrender to the grief. This process allows the layers of grief to dissolve.

When people express to me that they feel as though they have been grieving but it doesn't seem to end, I often find that they are merely thinking about their feelings or judging their grief. There is often a part of them that resists the grief, rather than fully surrendering to it. I encourage individuals to remove all labels from their feelings. Instead of calling it grief, they should simply notice and experience where they feel it in their body. By focusing on the sensations of grief without labeling them, they may begin to see that the layers of grieving energy start to dissolve.

The more we allow ourselves to grieve, the more we can let go of what was and who we were. Surrendering to a relationship, an old way of being, or a phase of life is akin to experiencing a death, which naturally involves grieving. I recall when I met my wife in Brazil; it was a transformative experience. Despite the overwhelming joy of finding my soulmate, I felt a deep sadness. As we moved toward marriage, the grief became more pronounced. I realized that I needed to grieve the end of a phase of my life and the identity I had as a single man.

This identity was not truly who I was, but rather a persona I had adopted. It was only by allowing myself to grieve this transition without judgment that I could fully open up and surrender to this new phase of togetherness and union. Grief is a portal into surrender; it is through this process that we can genuinely participate in life with an open heart.

=> 00:43:22

Grief is the gateway to true surrender; it's in letting go of who we were that we can fully embrace who we are becoming.

Grief is a complex emotion that can arise even in moments of joy. As I approached the point of getting married, I found myself grappling with grief in the connection. Overall, I was overjoyed, yet the grief became more and more present. I began to realize that there was a part of me that wasn't conscious, which had to fully grieve the end of a phase of my life. This included grieving the end of a sort of single man way of being—an identity that, while not truly who I am, had become a persona I had adopted.

It was only through not judging myself, but rather allowing myself to grieve the end of this phase, that I could truly open and surrender into this new phase of togetherness and union. I believe that grief is that portal into surrender. True surrender is not merely acceptance; it involves openhearted participation in the process of life. One can be in acceptance—saying, "I accept what it is," while still feeling anger or disappointment. For example, "I accept that it's raining outside, but I wanted to go sunbathing on the beach, and I'm mad that it's raining." This begrudging acceptance is not the same as surrender.

Surrender, on the other hand, is about fully engaging with whatever arises in life. It requires a willingness to trust that everything is happening for our highest good, even if our ego cannot currently see it or understand why things are happening as they are. Often, when things don’t go as planned, we may feel depressed, like failures, or simply mad. However, surrender is the willingness to trust in the intelligence of life. It involves participating fully in our experiences, rolling up our sleeves, and using every situation for our soul’s growth and evolution. Even when we don’t understand what is happening, we must trust that life will eventually reveal its lessons.

In another sense, surrender is about allowing life to lead us. Most of us tend to push against life, but when we are truly surrendered, we allow this intelligent energy—this force that governs all of existence—to guide us. Just as our bodies digest food without our conscious effort, there is an intelligence functioning within us and around us. Surrender is trusting this intelligence and permitting life to show us the way. If we can relax, stay open, and participate fully, we will discover that life has its own energy, current, and innate intelligent flow.

Ultimately, we are souls incarnating into this human experience to learn, grow, and evolve. I see life as a school, a university for our soul's evolution, where everyone and everything serves as a teacher. If we understand that we are not just limited to our physical bodies and minds, but rather expressions of this infinite intelligence, we can navigate the challenges of life more effectively.

No matter what we are going through—whether it is difficult, challenging, or traumatic—we can ask ourselves, "If everything is happening for my evolution, how do I surrender to this situation?" It’s not merely about surrendering to the situation itself, especially when some situations are incredibly challenging. Instead, it’s about surrendering to the lesson inherent in those experiences.

=> 00:48:12

Surrendering to the lessons in our struggles is the key to unlocking our next level of freedom and growth.

In our journey through life, we often grapple with the limitations of our physical Mind Body and the three-dimensional mechanism that defines who we are. However, it is essential to recognize that we are an expression of this infinite intelligence. Given this perspective, life can be viewed as a cosmic University for our Soul's Evolution. This means that, regardless of the challenges we face—be they difficult, hard, or even traumatic—we can ask ourselves a crucial question: If everything is happening for my evolution, how do I surrender to this situation?

Surrendering does not imply giving in to the situation itself, especially since some circumstances can be incredibly challenging. Instead, it is about surrendering to the lesson inherent in the situation. When we can surrender to the lesson, we stop resisting what is happening. We begin to learn why we may have been attracted to that particular situation, dynamic, or experience. Learning the lesson in that experience is the key that unlocks the door to the next level of freedom, life, manifestation, relationship, and possibility. Therefore, I believe that surrender is the most powerful thing we can do.

Thank you for sharing these insights. There is so much to unpack here, and I appreciate the value in your reflections. I am excited to delve deeper into your story, including your life, your parents, and your wife.

Returning to our discussion, I want to reiterate some important points. In the process of acceptance, which must come before the deep embodied surrender you mentioned, it is vital to first admit to the things we are pretending not to know. If questions are the genesis of focus, I encourage everyone to reflect on the questions posed earlier. For instance, Where am I currently lying to myself? and Where have I not admitted to my current reality? Recognizing that things are the way they are, regardless of whether we will change them immediately, is crucial.

Eventually, finding that deep-bodied surrender can feel like a metaphorical—and perhaps literal—death of an identity. Consider the cliche of the caterpillar, which must lose its head in the process of becoming something greater when it enters the chrysalis. Birth is often a messy process, and similarly, birthing a new version of ourselves can also be messy. The perspectives you are inviting us to consider are incredibly important.

Many of us, at different points in our lives, know individuals who strive to become actors or seek relationships that don’t seem to work out. It can be tough when things aren't unfolding as we desire. We naturally want things to work out in our favor, and this desire can sometimes be part of the problem. Learning to trust in the unknown and embrace uncertainty can be a beautiful, albeit challenging, place to arrive at.

=> 00:52:10

Real surrender means letting go without any strings attached, trusting the process even when the outcome is unknown. It's about releasing the ego's grip and embracing the uncertainty of transformation.

The process of birthing the new version of ourselves is often a messy journey. The perspectives you’re inviting here are truly important. At different points in our lives, we encounter situations where we or people we know set out to achieve something—like becoming an actor or finding a meaningful relationship—and it doesn't work out. We strive for these goals, yet sometimes, despite our efforts, things just don’t go as planned.

Reflecting on this can be tough, especially when we desire things to unfold in a certain way. This desire is part of the problem; we want things to work out how we envision them. The trust in the unknown and the uncertainty of life can be a beautiful place to arrive at, though it is often difficult to navigate. In the face of uncertainty, it can be challenging to discern when to double down on our efforts and when it is time to let go.

When we ask these questions and make decisions, we often come from a place of surrender. We may have released our egoic imperative of what we think we want from life, yet there remains a part of us that still expects certain outcomes. In the depth of this expectation, we wonder if something new can be born out of our experiences. However, once we claim to have surrendered, we might find ourselves questioning, “Where is that thing I expected?” This leads us to differentiate between fake surrender and real surrender.

Fake surrender is something we’ve all experienced. It’s when we say, “Okay, I know I need to let this relationship go,” but we do so with the expectation that it will come back to us. This type of surrender is still rooted in attachment to a specific outcome, based on our identity. Anything we manifest from this ego identity will be limited because the ego is conditioned by past experiences and cannot see the totality of life.

In contrast, real surrender occurs when we recognize that something needs to shift. It can be terrifying and scary, but we understand that we need to let go. If we set aside concerns about money or what others might think, we arrive at a place where we can honestly say, “Yes, I need to let go.” Real surrender is the willingness to follow that inner impulse without projecting any future outcomes or analyzing what might happen next.

When we surrender, we often think, “If I surrender, maybe this will happen,” but true surrender is about following the guidance we receive without any expectations. What I have found is that any projections we make about the future are likely rooted in our ego mind, which creates limitations on the flow of infinite intelligence. Many of us set goals based on our limited perceptions and become attached to these goals. We think, “I’m going to manifest this,” but what we often fail to realize is that we might be aiming for something much smaller than what life has to offer.

For example, we might fixate on manifesting something trivial, like a peanut. We visualize it, focusing all our energy on this singular desire. However, in doing so, we might miss out on the vast possibilities that lie beyond our limited expectations.

=> 00:56:30

Let go of the peanut and open yourself to the buffet of possibilities life has to offer; true growth happens in the journey, not just the destination.

The future of any possibility is often limited by our own perceptions. What I have found is that whatever you project into the future will likely be a projection of your ego mind, which creates certain limitations on the flow of infinite intelligence. Many of us are constrained because we can only see so much through the lens of our ego perception. We set our goals and then become attached to them based on this limited perspective. For instance, we might say, "I'm going to manifest this," and become fixated on a specific outcome.

However, many of us don't realize that we are trying to manifest peanuts. We might think, "I really want this peanut, Andre. I want this peanut; this peanut's amazing!" We visualize this peanut, asking for it to be given to us, perhaps even opening our pineal gland to see this peanut clearly. But we fail to recognize that it is still just a freaking peanut. We become so attached to what we think should be and how we think things should unfold. This peanut could represent a relationship, a career, a business partner, or the way we envision our career progressing. In reality, life is trying to bless us with so much grace, offering us a peanut factory or a buffet of options. Yet, we remain closed off to this abundance because we are so attached to the freaking peanut, which is all we know and believe.

I’m not saying that setting a goal isn’t helpful; it certainly can be. However, I encourage a shift from goal setting to soul setting. Open yourself to the deeper impulse within you. Align with that deeper impulse and set the goal that feels most authentic. Go 100% all in with that vision. Surrender does not mean simply lying back, meditating all day, and waiting for things to show up at your doorstep. Instead, it involves fully committing to what feels most true to you—what lights you up and sets you on fire. This truth should not be dictated by your parents, friends, or religion; it should come from your soul.

While you should go all in on your truth, it’s crucial not to attach yourself to the outcome, the pathway, or how you think things will manifest. Sometimes, the goals we set, which are based on our current level of consciousness, serve as the cosmic carrot that guides us on a journey. The real purpose of a goal is not simply the manifestation itself; rather, it lies in the process and the journey that the pursuit of that goal takes you on. It’s about who you are becoming in the process, the lessons you are forced to learn, and the evolution you undergo.

Any real goal will take you on a journey and compel you to evolve beyond your current level of consciousness. When you are following your soul, you may often find that you have no idea how you will manifest your goal, as it will likely be beyond your ego's current capacity for manifestation. Many times, we ask ourselves, "What is life seeking to express through me?" We may receive guidance that feels intuitive, but this intuitive energy, which is the unconditioned essence of our being, often does not make sense to our conscious mind. It might prompt us to take actions like, "Go here," or "Launch a podcast," even if we feel unqualified.

When this happens, the ego kicks in, questioning, "What do you mean? How is this going to happen? When and how?" This over-analysis is a strategy to regain control, but it often blocks the true flow from happening fully. Therefore, I encourage you to embrace this flow. When you feel an intuitive nudging, remember that you don’t have to know where you’re going or how it will all unfold.

=> 01:01:09

Trust your intuition and take that leap, even if you can't see the path ahead. Life has a way of guiding you to what truly aligns with your soul. When things don’t go as planned, it’s not failure; it’s just feedback pushing you toward your authentic self.

Sense to your conscious mind is a complex journey that often leads us to question our intuitive nudges. For instance, when you feel an urge to go to Brazil or launch a podcast, the mind's ego kicks in and starts to question, "What do you mean? How is this going to happen? When and how?" This over-analysis is a strategy to gain control, but it often ends up blocking the true flow of life from happening fully.

What I would really encourage is that when you feel this flow, when you feel this intuitive nudging, you don't have to know where you're going or have all the answers. If you simply say yes to the most authentic impulse and take a step forward, going all in without attachment to the outcome, you will find that life will guide you. Life will reveal to you exactly what you need for your higher Soul's growth and evolution in the process of living.

When things don't go according to plan, it can be seen as Grace, a higher intelligence at work. To illustrate this, let's consider an everyday example: think back to a relationship that you were convinced was "the one." You were so sure, so in love, and you couldn't imagine being without that person. However, as time passed, it didn't work out for whatever reason. If you look back now, how many of you think, "Thank God that didn't happen"?

Often, in the moment, we are unable to see why something isn't happening. There are a few reasons why things sometimes don't unfold as we wish. First, the goal you are pursuing may not be the highest impulse or expression of your soul. It might simply be what you think you want based on who you believe you are. Many of us look around at social media and see what others are doing, thinking, "I should be doing that." This leads to a lack of self-awareness and prevents us from living in alignment with our unique essence and Dharma.

When we are not aligned with our unique essence, life often provides feedback through course correction. Things may not flow or happen as we initially envisioned. For me, this is not failure; it is simply feedback. Most of us tend to force life, doubling down on our efforts to make something happen that isn't meant to be. However, trying to force something to be what it is not does not change its nature. Even if we manage to manifest something, we may find ourselves feeling unfulfilled, thinking, "This doesn't quite feel like me."

If things don't manifest as expected, the first step is to step back, be still, and ask yourself what is true and real. Is there something more authentic or aligned with your soul that is seeking expression? Let go of attachment and explore whether there is a deeper truth. By doing this, and by aligning ourselves with our unique nature—our unique Soul print—we will find that things tend to flow and manifest more effortlessly.

I remember when I was 21; I came to the U.S. at 18. Without going into the whole story, I wanted to be the next Oprah. This was before social media became popular, and I was determined. I literally did everything to pursue this dream. I harassed every agent at William Morris, CAA, and UTA; I approached them on the street, fully committed to my goal.

=> 01:05:35

Let go of what you think you want and trust the deeper truth within you; sometimes, the greatest blessings come from the paths we never expected to take.

In life, it is essential to let go of attachment and seek what is more in alignment with our souls. We must ask ourselves, is there anything that's more in alignment with my soul that is seeking to express? Is there a deeper truth? If we can come to this understanding and flow from there, we can bring ourselves into a deeper alignment with our unique nature, our unique soul print. When we do this, we often find that things tend to flow and manifest even more effortlessly.

Reflecting on my own journey, I remember when I was 21. I had come to the U.S. at 18, and without delving into the entire story, I had a strong desire to be the next Oprah. This was before social media became popular, and I was determined to make my mark. I literally did everything possible to pursue this dream. I harassed every agent at William Morris, CAA, and UTA. I even found Steven Spielberg in a park and pitched to him. I approached Richard Branson, David Geffen, and many others, facing countless rejections along the way. I was so convinced that my destiny was to have a TV talk show that I risked everything, even sleeping on a friend's couch.

Long story short, after enduring about 500 rejections, I finally met some managers who represented big names like Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Dolly Parton, and the Backstreet Boys. They told me, you're going to be a star. I was thrilled but also skeptical, given my history of rejection. They handed me a contract and said, come back tomorrow, sign it, and let's get to work. Within 18 months, you're going to be on TV and you're going to be a star.

However, when I went home that night, I decided to meditate on this opportunity. To my surprise, all I felt was a resounding no. The entire feeling in my body was clear; I knew this was a no. I was crushed because I had longed for this opportunity. I had visualized it, dreamed about it, and it had become my life. Yet, my soul was telling me no.

I realized that whenever I ignored my soul, things did not turn out well. For some inexplicable reason, I chose to listen. The next day, I told those managers that I couldn't go through with it. They reacted harshly, and I fell into a funk, experiencing grief and depression. However, this moment set me on a profound spiritual path. It forced me to surrender and ask God, I don't know what the hell you want from me anymore. I had tried everything to manifest my life and goals from the limitations of my ego, but I felt I had reached the end of that capacity.

This moment of surrender led me to walk the Camino, travel to India, and study with monks and rabbis. It was during this time that I experienced profound awakenings, marking the beginning of a deeper level of my spiritual journey. Looking back, I realize that at 21, I was not ready for the fame and success I sought. Yet, I now see it as a blessing. Had I achieved my dream of having a show, I wouldn't be doing the transformative work I do now.

Sometimes, life cannot be understood from the level of the mind while we are living it. We often only gain clarity when we look back and see how all the dots of our lives connect. It becomes evident that the infinite intelligence of the universe is moving things around to bring everything into perfect synchronization for us to live our destinies.

Another reason things may not manifest is simply timing. Sometimes, it is just not the right time yet. Everything has a season—summer, autumn, winter, and spring.

=> 01:10:14

Trust the timing of your life; sometimes the best things take time to ripen.

Life often presents itself in ways that are difficult to understand while we are living it. Sometimes, life is often not able to be understood from the level of the mind. It is only when we look back, in reverse, that we can see how all the dots of our lives fit together. I see how all of the dots of my life fit together and how the infinite intelligence is this Cosmic chess grandmas moving things around to bring everything into perfect synchronized structure for us to live our destiny.

One of the reasons things may not manifest as we wish is due to timing. Everything has a season: summer, autumn, winter, spring. We may desire something immediately, like a mango, but if it is still green, we cannot force it to ripen. Many of us attempt to eat that unripe mango, insisting, “I’m going to eat this damn Green Mango.” However, the truth is that everything has a natural rhythm. The more we align ourselves with this rhythm, the more we live in harmony with nature and life.

Reflecting on my own experiences, I recall wanting to meet my soulmate for many years. I went through numerous relationships, and it became clear that it just wasn't time. From an ego perspective, we often insist on having what we want immediately, leading us to pursue relationships that are not quite right. Many of us are eating unripe mangoes; it’s like we’re trying to make someone our soulmate when they are not.

I firmly believe that what is truly yours will be yours, and what is not yours cannot be forced. This does not mean we should surrender to inactivity. We must not confuse surrender with laziness. I want to reiterate that, because many people conflate surrender with inactivity. Consider an athlete at the highest level, like Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant, who, despite exhaustion or injury, must surrender to what is being asked of them in that moment.

Looking back on my own path, I remember moments of deep confusion. People often see those who have achieved some level of success and forget the struggles that came before. At 19, I experienced an existential crisis while sharing an $800 rent apartment with two other people. I found myself crying in my bedroom, feeling that I was not living the life I was capable of living. People don’t see those moments where you can’t see what the trajectory is going to be.

To move forward, we must have the courage to let go of a good life to receive a God life. In retrospect, it becomes clear how past relationships and experiences led us to where we are now. Cultivating faith is living with the wisdom that we will be able to connect the dots in the future. We must trust that everything has worked out 100% of the time, as we are here, alive, and moving forward.

Interestingly, we often trust technology, like Siri, more than we trust our own souls. We trust Siri more than we trust the guidance of our soul. Life continually proves to us that we can trust in its unfolding, just as we trust our breath to sustain us.

=> 01:14:21

Trust the process of life; it's always working in your favor, even when you can't see it.

Cultivating faith is living with the wisdom that we will be able to connect the dots in the future by looking back to our present moment. However, in this moment, we must have trust and faith because it has worked out 100% of 100% of times. We're here; we're alive. You know, we trust. I kind of joke sometimes that we trust Siri more than we trust our soul. When Siri says to turn left, we don't question it. For instance, I came here today because Siri said to go here, go up a man, and go down, go around. Siri could have taken me to Tahiti, right? But here I am. So, we trust Siri more than we trust the guidance of our soul.

In many ways, life is proving to us this trustability. Just think about it: your breath is happening; you wake up every day. Has there ever been a day when the sun wasn't shining? It's like waking up and finding it pitch black at 10:00 a.m. because the sun forgot to shine. Every day, the sun shines, the moon comes up, and the stars appear. Nature is constantly happening; the process of life is ongoing. To cultivate trust, we just need to look at our bodies and observe all the processes that are happening. Meditate on that; it’s amazing when you consider the trillions and trillions of processes occurring right now for us to even have this conversation. You and I are not actively doing any of it; it’s just happening, whether we’re asleep or awake, even when we’re driving.

If we can bring ourselves into a relationship with our bodies and tune into the miraculous nature of what is happening, we can truly appreciate it. If we go out into nature and take a moment to observe the rhythms and cycles, we can ask ourselves, what is functioning this? It’s a miracle. There are so many miracles right in front of us at every moment. If we began to acknowledge the miraculousness around us, we would see it everywhere.

Reflecting on my life, I can think of all those moments when I could have been dead or when I could have missed meeting someone important. There’s something intelligent at work in all of this. Even when things don’t seem to work out in the moment or in timing, we can learn to be patient. In that patience, we can cultivate gratitude, which I believe is key. We can cultivate a sacred appreciation for life by surrendering to the sacred acknowledgment of all that we have and all that is.

We have so much to be grateful for—gratitude for what has happened and for all the amazing things that have occurred in our lives. We should also express gratitude for all the things that didn’t happen. Thank God they didn’t happen! We can be thankful for the lessons we’ve learned. Many of us have gained so much from the richness of our life lessons; that, for me, is my currency. Even if something isn’t manifested, I grew so much from that process.

Giving thanks for the lessons and the people in my life makes me feel incredibly wealthy. I am surrounded by amazing humans, and I give thanks for who I am. Just being myself is something to be grateful for. When I think about human incarnation, it’s mind-boggling. We have manifested as energy into this physical form in this world to see, touch, taste, and feel. We experience ice cream, orgasms, pain, hurt, shame, and guilt. We experience the totality of life and existence in this incarnation.

=> 01:18:54

Life is a unique journey of highs and lows, where every experience adds a new layer to our understanding of existence. Embrace the full spectrum of being human—it's a blessing to simply be here.

Incarnation—you know, a human incarnation—when I really think about a human incarnation, I realize that many times I don't. I'm just busy living life, like we all are, right? It's like life, life, life—what's next? But when I really sit down and think about a human incarnation, I ponder, what the hell is this thing? I mean, come on! It's like a human; we just manifested as energy into this physical form, into this incarnation, in this world to see, to touch, to taste, to feel, to taste ice cream, to experience orgasms. We experience pain, hurt, shame, guilt—you know, all levels of life, the totality of life and existence in this incarnation.

To really feel the blessing and the grace of a human incarnation is profound. Yes, it's not easy; yes, it's not perfect; yes, it's sometimes hard and challenging and difficult. But I think when we can allow ourselves to feel how amazing it is that we get to just be here, it's like we just get to be here, you know? I think the Angels or beings on whatever dimensions all they get to experience is freaking bliss. And here we are; we get to experience the piss and the bliss, and we get to experience everything. It's like, wow, a human incarnation—it's amazing!

Even if things haven't happened as we expected, to be able to feel that is a blessing. I really do feel that the Universe gains a completely unique, one-of-a-kind, irreducible perspective of itself through our being. The Universe never will have another experience like you, and it gains something new by having a C experience versus a Chelsea experience versus an Andre experience versus a Donald Trump experience versus a Kamala experience versus a Hitler experience. This realization creates so much spaciousness, at least within me, to view people as phenomena, as life doing its thing.

The most horrendous tragedies that are happening around the planet, alongside the most blissful, ecstatic moments, are simply the spectrum of life doing life. We can impose our egoic judgment on it, thinking it shouldn't be a certain way. Yet, like you said, there is an intelligence of nature that has the cycles moving in a certain way. Interestingly, I believe the Oxford dictionary actually delineates humans outside of nature. When you look at all the cycles, farmers have a fallow season roughly every seven years where they don't plant. They need to give the soil time to rejuvenate and gather the proper nutrients and elements it needs for the upcoming seasons.

I think that sometimes we have our fallow seasons, where it appears like inactivity on the surface, but the soil is being tilled, and we're getting prepared for what's to come. Yes, I think we're doing ourselves a major disservice by not allowing ourselves to be in the current season and cycle of life that we're in. That might be super ecstatic, or it might be super grieving. I know you've had so many experiences on that full spectrum. The more we live life, the more we have experiences of the different textures of life.

There are so many things I want to ask you about your own personal story, and I want you to feel free to just take it where you want. However, I was really interested to hear a little bit about one of your moments of confusion, where you were completely blinded and didn't have sight of where you were going next in life. You said no to that contract, started to travel, and went to India. You met an enlightened master at one point, right? Many, but the one you talked about in your book, The Magic of Surrender, I found very interesting.

Between that and the Santiago 500-mile pilgrimage, there are so many amazing things. When I look at my life, some of the biggest defining moments are meeting individuals at pivotal times who provided a perspective shift to get me out of my own bubble of conceptual understanding of how life should be and brought me back into a deeper acceptance of the present moment. They reflected things to me. So, do you want to share a little bit about that experience you had with that individual, where you came to him frustrated with your current life circumstance and how he helped guide you back into that state?

Look, when I was in India, I spent a lot of time with amazing enlightened beings. I wanted to meet a light master, and this was...

=> 01:22:58

Sometimes the most profound lessons come from those we least expect; true freedom isn't about what we have, but how fully we embrace the moment.

Between that and the Santiago 500 Mile pilgrimage, there are so many amazing things. However, when I reflect on my life, some of the biggest defining moments have been meeting individuals at pivotal times who provided a perspective shift. These encounters helped me break free from my own bubble of conceptual understanding of how life should be, bringing me back into a deeper acceptance of the present moment. They reflected things back to me that I needed to see.

Do you want to share a little bit about that experience you had with an individual where you came to him frustrated with your current life circumstances and how he helped guide you back into that state?

Yes, look, when I was in India, I spent a lot of time with amazing enlightened beings. I was eager to meet a light master, and I found a profound man named Gangoli in the middle of the Carolina mountains. I had the opportunity to sit with him, ask him questions, and engage in deep conversations about life and existence. However, I must say that there were many people I met on my journey in India who touched me even more. I was initially searching for enlightenment in this mystical, higher enlightened Guru with a beard, holding onto a preconceived idea of what wisdom would look like.

As amazing as this enlightened teacher was, I want to share a story about a man I met after about three months of traveling throughout India. I was exhausted. I had encountered numerous enlightened individuals who imparted profound wisdom about the nature of consciousness and life, affirming that we are souls. While all of this was true and enlightening, I found myself in Bodhgaya, where the Buddha attained enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, in 120° heat. One particular day, feeling utterly drained, I sat down outside the temple, reflecting on my pursuit of happiness, which ironically led to more suffering due to my constant seeking.

On that day, I noticed ten beggars, as I had every day, but something shifted in my perception. I saw one man sitting on the floor, singing praises to the Divine with a little drum. I had no idea what he was singing, but he was singing with his whole heart, his entire essence. While everyone else was begging, this man was completely immersed in his song. I had seen him every day, but I had never truly noticed him because, in my perception, he was not enlightened—he was not a great Guru with a big ashram or a large following.

As I observed him for another 20 to 30 minutes, I began to cry. There was such purity in his heart and the way he sang. He didn’t care about anything—whether anyone was watching or if anyone was giving him money. He was simply singing. In that moment, I realized that this man was not a beggar; in fact, I felt more like a beggar than he was.

I approached him, but he couldn’t speak English, so I used a translator. I discovered that he was blind and could not see if anyone was watching or appreciating him. This made me reflect on my own life and all the things I used to do for fame, seeking recognition and appreciation. Here was a man who couldn’t see one person or a hundred people, and yet he was singing joyfully.

As I looked closer, I noticed that he had no arms. He was beating the drums with his feet, using his stumps to create rhythm. He was just ecstatic, truly ecstatic. This realization struck me deeply. I had no idea what he was saying, but I was profoundly moved by his spirit and freedom.

=> 01:27:30

True spirituality isn't about waiting for a grand moment; it's about how you show up and love in every moment, no matter your circumstances.

I went up to this man and I realized he was blind. He couldn't see if anybody was watching, he couldn't see if anyone was appreciating him, and he couldn't see if anybody was there. This made me reflect on myself and all the things I used to do for fame—all the things I used to do so that people would notice and appreciate me. Yet, here was this man who couldn't see one person, a hundred people, and then I looked at him and saw that he had no arms. Straight up, no arms. Despite this, he was singing and beating these drums with his feet, using his stumps to create music. He was just beating these drums and was truly ecstatic.

What struck me was that I had no idea what he was saying, but I could feel him. He had no eyes, no hands, couldn't even eat by himself, and his legs were mangled. This was why he was the only beggar sitting down. No eyes, no hands, no legs, and yet he was singing, giving praises to his creator freely. I realized he had been doing this every day for the last two weeks I'd been there; I just hadn't noticed because he didn't come in this enlightened package I had imagined. I sat there with tears in my eyes, with a translator, and I was crying. I asked him, "How do you manage to sit here every day? You don't know if anyone is looking, appreciating, or clapping. You don't even know how much money you're making. I have every reason to be happy, and you have every reason to not be happy, and here you are, free, happy, ecstatic."

I felt like the beggar, and when I told him this, it was as though he looked at me. He couldn't see me, but it felt like he looked straight through my soul. I was ready to take notes from this guy, and through the translator, I asked him how he managed to do this every day—give his heart, give his love. I shared that for me, if my friend doesn't call me back, I'm upset; if they don't text me, I'm mad. Yet, he just kept singing. He replied, "What else is there to do?" I was taken aback. "What else is there to do?" he repeated, then continued playing.

He turned back to me and said, "Look, sometimes life will give you what you want; sometimes life will not give you what you want. But you can always give life who you are." He just kept singing, and it felt like something hit me in that moment. The simplicity of it all—no esoteric chakra, just the pure simplicity of a man who was living his spirituality. He was demonstrating love every day through his form. I realized all the ways I was waiting for some special moment in my life—waiting for a special break, waiting to meet Oprah, waiting for an audience, waiting for something. I saw that I was suffering.

This experience impacted my life profoundly because I began to understand that real spirituality is not found in a temple, in the words I say, in my ability to open my pineal gland, or in my yoga posture. Real spirituality is simply how I live my life. It's who I am with you in each moment; it's how I show up and the degree to which I dare to be love moment to moment, loving everything and everyone to the best of my capacity as the Divine in each moment.

For me, it's simple moments like that which truly impacted me. At that time, I was staying at a mentor of mine's ashram in India, a man called Dakui, who was quite well-known but passed away at 10. I met him when he was 80. This was a man who served underprivileged kids, which is why I went to Bodhgaya in the first place—to meet him. I had visions of being like Mother Teresa, thinking it would be this romantic thing. He built schools for underprivileged kids and had an ashram, an orphanage with around 300 kids. These were kids he found living in the trash, with no parents, who came to live with him. He had been serving them for 80 years.

After two weeks of serving the kids, I was exhausted, and this led me to roam the streets and meet the blind man.

=> 01:32:02

True spirituality is found in love and service, starting with the one in front of you, not just the thousands you dream of helping.

I went to Bodhgaya to meet with a man who builds schools for underprivileged kids. I had these visions of being like Mother Teresa, imagining it would be a romantic experience. He runs an ashram, which serves as an orphanage for around 300 underprivileged kids. These are children he finds living in the trash, abandoned and without parents. He has dedicated 80 years of his life to serving them, and I went there to help.

After two weeks of service, I found myself exhausted. The kids were challenging; they didn’t seem to appreciate my efforts, and I felt overwhelmed. I decided to go to the temple to pray and meditate by the Bodhi tree. It was during this time that I met a beautiful man named Dakui. I confided in him about my exhaustion and frustration. He listened and then shared a profound insight: “It is beautiful that you go to the Bodhi tree to pray and meditate, but just make sure that whilst you’re meditating, your heart doesn’t turn to stone. Right here in this very simple ashram, there are 300 living Buddhas, living Christs waiting for you to serve them.”

This moment changed my life. I realized that real spirituality is about love and service. Spirituality is measured by the degree to which we love and serve others as ourselves. For me, love is the embodiment of spirituality, and there is no real spirituality without love in action. Those moments in India profoundly impacted me.

Upon returning from India, I found myself living on a friend's couch above W, as I had no money. I would sit outside Pan Pacific Park, praying to God for guidance on my mission and how I could be of service to many people. I spent months seeking clarity. One day, I noticed an elderly woman struggling to cross the street with her groceries. In my meditation, I heard a voice that said, “You’re full of it. Every day you sit here praying for guidance, and every day you see this old woman struggling, yet you won’t get up to help her. You want to serve millions of people?”

In that moment, I understood that if I wanted to truly be of service, I needed to act. I stood up and helped her carry her bags. Although we couldn’t communicate verbally—she spoke Russian, and I didn’t—we formed a connection. For the next few months, I helped her with her shopping every morning. This became my way of serving and putting my spirituality into practice.

These experiences were transformational. I learned that many times, we desire to serve thousands, but we often overlook the opportunity to serve the one in front of us. We must start where we are, exactly as we are, by responding to the needs in the moment. Ultimately, love is the essence of our being. It is not just a mood or a feeling; it is our nature. What we often think of as love can sometimes be mere conditioning. True love is the real essence of who we are.

=> 01:36:41

True transformation starts within; when we heal ourselves, we heal the world.

Starting and living my spirituality into practice has been a transformative journey for me. For me, it has to be lived. These moments, particularly those coming from India, have profoundly impacted my life. I often reflect on how many times we aspire to serve thousands but won’t serve the one. I believe we must start where we are, exactly as we are, by responding to the need in the moment.

Love is at the core of my understanding. Love is the real essence of love, not merely a mood. Anyone can express love when they feel in love, but much of what we think of as love is simply conditioning. Love is the real essence of what we are; it's our nature. It is the energy that defines us. When we truly know who we are, we realize that there is no separation between me and you, or you and another. We are One. This recognition of our Oneness and the ability to express and live it is, for me, what is spiritual.

I could share many stories about this, but the power of these realizations is immense. I often think about how we can become lost in suffering when we focus solely on our own personality and limited desires—our lowercase self—rather than serving life. I have experienced numerous times that when you start serving those around you, the suffering associated with self-centeredness begins to dissolve. This is because our true nature is to be of service. These experiences serve as potent reminders that life amplifies our capacity to serve the more we show up with a heart of service.

I invite thoughts on the shift in our spiritual journey from service to self to service to others. This shift manifests in various ways for each of us, whether through quiet acts of kindness—like serving children, which I believe echoes loudly in eternity—or through more public avenues like speaking or podcasting. In these public roles, we must be cautious to guard our ego from making things about ourselves.

As we all desire to serve and truly show up on the planet, how can we help people make that shift? There are a few things I would like to share. The world we see is a mirror manifestation of ourselves. It reflects the collective projection of all our consciousness combined. In this sense, there is no separate world out there; it is a reflection of our combined worlds projected outward.

If we genuinely want to change the world and make an impact, we must recognize that not everyone will follow the same path. Not everyone is destined to be an Oprah, a Gandhi, or an Elon Musk. Each of us has a unique path, but that does not mean we cannot serve. To truly serve humanity and make an impact, we must start with ourselves. This is not about ego but about understanding that if I heal and transform myself—if I forgive—then I contribute to peace on the planet.

We often desire peace but struggle to forgive those close to us. The wars we see in the world reflect the internal conflicts within ourselves—the hatred and self-judgment we harbor daily. If we are willing to look inside as a first step, we can realize that by bringing ourselves into more harmony, forgiving, and letting go of our pain and trauma, we can connect with our essence even more deeply.

=> 01:41:26

True peace starts within; heal yourself, forgive, and watch the world transform.

With knowing that if I heal myself and I transform myself and I forgive, I mean, how do we bring peace on the planet? We want peace on the planet, but I won't forgive my sister. You know, wars happening on the planet also reflect, I think, the war that is happening inside of ourselves—the hatred inside of ourselves, the ways we drop bombs of self-hatred and judgment inside of our own consciousness every single day.

So, I think if we're willing to look inside as a first step and realize that, okay, if I can bring myself into more harmony, if I can forgive, if I can let go of my pain, my trauma, my childhood conditioning, and connect with my essence even more, I can raise my vibration and raise my frequency. This will energetically shift the projected reality of the world out here. By doing our own healing consciousness work at this time and changing ourselves, we actually play our role in shifting and serving the world.

I think that's one level we can all do, whether you're a mother or just by being a human being incarnated at this particular moment in time. I believe we have all incarnated at this particular moment in time to play a role in the evolution of consciousness on the planet. It's no accident that we're here. Therefore, the commitment to doing that inner work is not for the fulfillment of one's ego but for the purification and the evolution of all. Because as you shift, I shift.

In terms of being of service, I think in the development of a human, at first, we are very self-centered. We start off only thinking about "me" and "my," and everyone is separate from me. Your success takes away from me, and so we're very much self-centered and self-focused, which creates a sense of suffering. However, as we shift and have awakenings, our sense of perception and self expands beyond just this physical three-dimensional body. It's like we're actually not separate.

My sense of self starts to expand beyond myself to include more and more of humanity—my cat, my dog, my children, my wife, my spouse, my friends. We move from self to, shall we say, a sort of next level of community. Maybe that sense of service can begin with seeing how I can be of service to just those around me immediately right now. Starting there, how can I serve my wife? How can I serve my children? How can I serve my friends? How can I serve those around me? I think everyone is providing a sacred opportunity to be of service.

As your sense of self starts to expand, we realize we are truly one. If we are truly one, then I think there's a natural impulse and desire to serve more and more of the dimension of life and humanity. It moves from "me" to "you" to "we," encompassing the closer community and then the outer community. The natural expression to the world is that there really is no separation between me and the world. I am the world; the world is me. I am the children. There is no separation between me and the people in Palestine, Sudan, Russia, and Israel. It's like we are one.

So, I think there's a natural progression as one evolves, with an impulse to be of service in a certain way. How do you make sense of those immense tragedies that are happening when you feel there? A lot of this conversation has been very focused around the greater intelligence that is weaving between life and guiding us to where we need to be. Then we reflect on the realities of many individuals—children and mothers—that are experiencing such pain. How do we reconcile that?

That's a tough one. Look, I can only share from my experience and my understanding. The tragedies are difficult. I think there's nothing that can really speak to the sensitivity and the heartbreak of what one experiences when they go through those tragedies. To be honest, I could not imagine going through certain tragedies myself. I have been through difficulties; we all have. But when you look at some of the extreme tragedies on the planet, it breaks my heart to feel what my brothers and sisters are going through, and nothing I say will alleviate the pain.

=> 01:46:13

True empathy comes from recognizing that everyone's journey is unique, and sometimes the most challenging paths lead to the greatest growth.

The topic of tragedy and suffering is profoundly painful, and it raises difficult questions. How do we cope with such experiences? From my perspective, I can only share my understanding and personal experiences. The tragedies we face are indeed challenging, and there is nothing that can truly capture the sensitivity and heartbreak that accompany them. To be honest, I cannot imagine enduring certain tragedies myself. We all encounter difficulties in life, but when I reflect on some of the extreme tragedies occurring around the world, it breaks my heart to empathize with what my brothers and sisters are enduring.

Before I delve deeper, I want to acknowledge the pain of our human experience. It is undeniably hard. When I work with my clients, I often encounter stories of suffering that are beyond my comprehension. I find myself thinking, I don’t know if I could actually deal with that. We often do not understand the depth of suffering until we experience it ourselves.

During my time in India, I witnessed many individuals with disabilities, and the sheer number of them was overwhelming. I remember a particular day at a train station when I saw a man who was so deformed that he resembled a spider turned upside down. As he walked in, I felt an intense wave of sorrow for him. What kind of life is this? I didn’t know his story, but I was moved to tears, weeping for the suffering we all endure.

As I stood there crying, I experienced an intuitive realization. A voice within me suggested that my feelings of pity stemmed from a belief that perhaps I was superior to him. However, if life is a school—an evolutionary process for our Soul's growth—then everything serves our soul's evolution. In this metaphorical university of life, perhaps that man was in the PhD program while I was still in kindergarten.

While it is natural to feel empathy for others, we must recognize that viewing someone through the lens of the ego limits our understanding of their existence. When we shift our perspective to see through the lens of the soul, we can appreciate a multi-dimensional view of life. This perspective allows us to understand what someone's soul is seeking to learn through their experiences in this three-dimensional realm.

I will never forget the moment I looked at that man and considered the possibility that he was indeed in a higher level of the game of life while I was in a much simpler stage. I realized that I was not seeing him as a soul but rather through my ego's perspective, which led me to feel only sorrow for his tragic existence. However, stepping back from that perspective did not diminish my compassion; instead, it transformed it.

I began to see him not just as a person who was born and would eventually die, but as an infinite stream of consciousness navigating a challenging classroom. This shift in perspective filled me with awe for his soul's choice. It was as if I recognized that he had chosen a more difficult level of the video game of life. This realization fundamentally changed how I perceive others. Now, when I encounter people, I strive to see beyond their physical existence.

=> 01:50:54

True freedom isn't found in the pursuit of endless bliss; it's discovered within, amidst the limitations of our human experience. Embrace the journey, respect the lessons, and remember that every soul is navigating its own unique path.

When I was able to step back, it didn't shift my compassion and empathy. However, when I was able to step back and not just see him as an ego person that is born and then dies, but as an infinite stream of Consciousness that happens to be in a very challenging, high-level classroom right now, it changed my perspective. For me, I was in awe of his soul choice. It was like there was a whole other level of respect that I actually saw him through and held him through. It was as if I thought, "Wow, you chose a higher level of the video game, a more difficult level of the video game." This realization shifted how I saw him.

Now, when I see people, I don't just see a person or an ego; I see a soul on a journey that happens to be in a costume called this personality, evolving in this experience. I look at people differently. When I look at individuals who go through tragedies, I see them as souls. I have profound respect for what their souls have chosen to navigate through and learn from in a very challenging and difficult classroom that is life.

Now, this perspective does not take away the pain. It doesn't mean that certain things are okay or right. To me, this physical human experience is lived in a three-dimensional realm of duality. This is not transcendental bliss. I think this domain, this realm of experience, is where we incarnate to grow and evolve. This realm is one of limitation; it is not a realm of infinite bliss. You can't necessarily jump off a building and then fly; if you jump off a building, you splat, and you are going to suffer.

This realm is characterized by three-dimensional duality and interdependent polaric opposites. That's the nature of life: plus and minus, it's physics, it's the Dao—up and down, left and right, good and bad, positive and negative. I've stopped looking for infinite freedom and infinite bliss in this realm because I believe it doesn't exist here. True dimensions of freedom, bliss, and joy exist within us. That's why Jesus said, "the Kingdom of Heaven is within." He didn't say, "Hey, the Kingdom of Heaven is in a Lamborghini." A Lamborghini is a nice car, don't get me wrong, and a mansion is great, but the Kingdom of Heaven is within you.

Most of us don't look within; we look out here. And while the external world is amazing and beautiful—I'm not anti-material or against worldly experiences—it's all beautiful, but it is impermanent and transitory. Nothing lasts forever, and it is a realm of limitation. When we can understand the nature of this dimension, we realize there will always be plus and minus, light and dark. I don't think there will ever come a point in this three-dimensional realm where everyone will be a billionaire or everyone will be enlightened. That's not the purpose of this realm.

To me, the purpose of this realm is to incarnate, learn lessons, and evolve within the structure of limitation. There are limitations; you can't just eat four million donuts and be healthy, and you can't drive wherever you want on the street. Part of the purpose of our incarnation is not to be limited but to become masters in limitation. This limitation forces us to access, through our spiritual practice, the true nature of who we are so that we can tap into and experience our true unlimitedness. We live in the realm of limitation while being connected to that which is not limited, allowing us to be in the world but not of the world.

I think this is part of the game of awakening, the game of remembering, the cosmic game that is playing out. When I went to India and hung out with the guru you mentioned on the mountaintop, I really started to understand that part of my suffering is because I want to be blissful all the time. There is a dimension of our being that is eternally...

=> 01:55:44

Embrace the chaos of life; it's in the friction that we discover our true selves and evolve our consciousness.

In our journey of existence, we aim to tap into and experience the true nature of our unlimitedness while living in the realm of limitation. This involves being in the world but not of the world, which is a crucial part of the game of Awakening, the game of remembering, and the cosmic game that unfolds around us.

During my time in India, while spending time with the guru on the mountaintop, I began to understand that part of my suffering stemmed from my desire to be blissful all the time. There is indeed a dimension of our being that is eternally blissful, yet my suffering arose from my expectations of life to conform to a specific standard. I wanted to be happy all the time and for things to be a certain way. However, this 3D realm of duality does not operate in such a manner; it embodies the Dao. When we can accept both the light and the dark, recognizing the light in the dark and the dark in the light, we cultivate a different relationship with life.

Tragedies will occur; there will be poverty and pain in this realm, as it is part of the 3D limitation. However, I believe that the purpose of these tragedies and difficulties is not merely to create suffering. Instead, they serve to create the friction that compels us to look within and question our existence: Who am I? Why am I here? Ultimately, everything serves our Soul's growth and evolution. While we engage in daily activities, the true essence of our journey is the evolution of our Consciousness.

Some experiences may be more challenging, but that does not imply we should ignore them or refrain from taking action. We must protest and take a stand, but when we accept the nature of what is, we can approach these situations from a place of non-resistance. This acceptance allows us to shift and change circumstances more effectively, as we are not reinforcing the energy of what we wish to change.

Life is characterized by its ups and downs, its light and dark. As individuals navigate through tragedies and heartbreaks, I find myself in awe of their courage. When we view life through the lens of the Soul, rather than the ego, our perception shifts. This perspective ignites a different approach to action. For instance, individuals like Mother Teresa dedicated their lives to serving the poorest of the poor, recognizing the dignity and humanity in everyone, including those suffering from starvation and deformities. Similarly, Victor Frankl, despite enduring unimaginable hardships, arrived at a profound understanding of life, which has inspired countless others.

It is essential to remove our judgment of how someone else's life unfolds. Consider figures like Nelson Mandela and Oprah Winfrey; their journeys, filled with challenges, have shaped them into the impactful individuals we admire today. While we may not wish suffering upon anyone, it is often through adversity that the greatest leaders emerge.

I am grateful for this conversation and the ripple effect of the choices we make in life. When we courageously embrace surrender, allowing life to unfold from within us, we create a ripple effect that inspires others to shine their light and walk their paths. This influence extends to how they raise their children, creating an endless cycle of positive change.

As I reflect on my experiences, I have found that the deeper I go into this journey, the less choice I feel I have, yet the freer I become. The more I was driven by ego, the more limited I felt in my choices. In conclusion, I have discovered that when we surrender, things may not go as we planned, but they often lead us to places beyond our expectations. You will always end up in the right place at the right time with the right people, even if the path taken is not what you anticipated.

Thank you for this enlightening conversation, which serves as a potent reminder for both myself and our audience. I encourage everyone tuning in to reflect on how this discussion has supported their own process of surrendering. It is inspiring to witness individuals courageously living from this place. Thank you for joining us today, my brother. Until next time, take care, be well, and surrender.