Table of contents
- Star Wars chess: where knocking over drinks and fumbling around is just part of the experience!
- Epic game night with friends: unexpected moves, hilarious banter, and a whole lot of fun!
- Sometimes D is for Dark Side, sometimes D is for don't.
- Am I more of a booba or a Kiki?
- Even when you mess up, just keep going and do your best.
- Even in chaos, there's always a way out—just gotta find the right move.
Star Wars chess: where knocking over drinks and fumbling around is just part of the experience!
"Oh, oh no! Oh my God, I knocked over like five things. No, no, I'm sorry, Dan. I can't find my glasses. Where's your glasses? I don't know. Star Wars," Dan exclaimed. "Hey, I'm Grump, I'm not so Grump, and we're the Game Grumps. Hello there, we're back. It's Star Wars."
"I just had a moment," Dan continued. "Aaron was like, 'You want to play Star Wars chess?' I was like, 'Heck yeah!' and then it immediately went into 'a long time ago' and I was like, 'Oh!' and cartoonishly fumbled and knocked over like five things in the room. So much liquid on the floor that needed cleaning. That has happened to me at Star Wars movies where I'm finding my seat and then the John Williams music starts, and popcorn goes flying in the air. So embarrassing."
"Well, anyway, we get to stare at C-3PO's dump truck," Aaron noted. "Yeah, it's pretty great. So, would you like to be the Rebel Force or the Dark Side?" Dan asked. "I'll be the Dark Side," Aaron replied. "Alright, I'll be the Rebel Force. The Rebel Force... I think you're just the Light Side," Dan corrected. "Okay, because Yoda isn't really a rebel. I was going by what they said on the other screen, on the crawl screen," Aaron explained.
"Oh, I guess you're first," Dan said. "Alright, so you can be the good guys," Aaron added. "Yeah, you go. Oh boy, this is an awkward angle," Dan noted. "I know, right?" Aaron agreed. "Oh hell yeah, we got cutscenes. Love that," Dan exclaimed. "Is it possible to go to the normal chess-looking screen and then for the cutscenes it changes to this?" Dan asked. "I don't know, because that'll be so much easier for us to see," Aaron replied. "Nope," Dan realized. "Oh well, it doesn't do the cutscene. No, we need that. Alright, well, we'll figure this out. There you go. You just got to live with it, man," Aaron said. "Yeah, we'll just live with the angle. This is part of Star Wars chess. This ain't your mama's chess," Dan joked.
"Alright, you going to back up your weirdo? Move out of the way. He's got the Chewy crossbow. Love that it just stops playing me," Aaron commented. "Okay, if I do that, then that's backing that up. Darth is the queen, I think that's very sweet," Dan said. "Oh yeah, he is. Well, yeah, he does work for Palpatine, so," Aaron added. "Wow, very exciting stuff. Oh my God, a Tusken Raider," Dan exclaimed.
"Wow, look at him. Look at him, that Platinum dumpy," Aaron noted. "Ah, the Donald opening. Okay, gotta watch for the Bishops," Dan said. "Oh man, daddy forgot how to play chess. Oh my God, Han is in carbonite back there on the right, on the top right," Aaron pointed out. "Yeah, because he's not playable. You know, that's funny. Is that messed up?" Dan asked. "Oh, I'm on this side. Man, it is hard to see," Aaron admitted.
"Okay, yeah, easy. I'm just going to... I'm in check," Dan laughed. "I know. Okay, I don't want to expose my king, so I guess I'll threaten your boy," Aaron said. "Are you threatening my boy right now?" Dan asked. "I might be doing a little boy-threatening," Aaron replied. "Are you a boy-threatening?" Dan repeated. "I might be doing myself a hecking threat," Aaron confirmed. "Don't back up your boy," Dan warned. "Hold on, bro. My boys always get backed," Aaron said. "Is he doing it? Is he thinking of doing that? Is he thinking of backing up his boy?" Dan wondered. "Backing and jacking, man," Aaron replied.
"Well, I don't want to do that. That's cray-cray," Dan said. "That's cray-cray, daddy," Aaron agreed. "Maybe I'll just be a little... wow, you're being quite a naughty ," Dan noted. "Look at Boba. He always keeps his hand like that because that's how he was in one scene in the movie," Aaron explained. "Mhm, I'm so mysterious and interesting. Soon they'll do a whole TV series about me where we'll just kind of hang around and talk a lot," Dan joked. "Yeah, just kind of do what we do, you know. It was nice, it was fun," Aaron added.
"Are you attacking, bro?" Dan asked. "Bro, I'm R2ing your D," Aaron replied. "That's messed up. So do I take your king? Do I? I don't know. Do I step back and maintain the position, or then do you threaten my boy? No, I can't maintain the position. I got to take your Chewy, dude," Dan decided. "My Chewy? I got to murder your Chewy," Aaron said.
Epic game night with friends: unexpected moves, hilarious banter, and a whole lot of fun!
We hung around and talked a lot, just kind of did what we do. It was nice and fun. Suddenly, the conversation shifted: "Are you attacking, bro?" "I'm R2-ing your D. That's messed up." "So do I take your kite? Do I step back and maintain the position, or do you threaten my boy?" "No, I can't maintain the position. I got to take your chewy, dude." "My chewy? I got to murder your chewy."
Chewy took his jetpack off and used it like a flamethrower. "He did! Didn't see that coming. That's crazy." "Time for my little R2. Uh-oh, how's this going to work out?" "He'll probably just flash a little hologram onto him until he dies." "Oh, here we go. He's too fast for him. Your gun's jamming, dog. Just reload your damn gun." "Wow, Boba F was more combustible than I imagined. That's a loss for him."
"Alright, yeah, I know that's in my head too. Well, I can't do that now. I'm just going to go ahead and look at a real game real quick." "Yeah, that's not a bad idea. It feels like not in the spirit of this, you know?" "Yeah, part of it is you kind of have to deal with the weird angles." "What is the Stormtrooper again?" "Stormtroopers are just pawns." "Okay, so I can go there or there. I can do all kinds of wacky stuff. I guess I'll Castle." "Yep, not a bad idea. I would like you to move over there, please." "Look at him walk there. I know, oh my feet are so heavy."
My dad works at Nintendo. "I'm going to back my dumb Pawn. He is a dumb Pawn. He is so dumb. My dad is so dumb. Just kidding, he's smart. That's why I ended up smart like my dad." "Alright, is the smartest Dark Side." "The alphabet is for the dark side. A is for abandoned hope of your future. B is for B. C is for C. I told you it's a dark side. Better Dark Side obviously." "No, not that one, it's the one below it." "Oh, he's very tall." "Yeah, jeez, he is tall. Wow, boy these angles." "E is for the Empire. Uh-oh, here he comes. He's a sneaky little boy."
"I thought it was just playing Leia for a second. Are we just doing the same stuff we were doing before?" "I don't know, you're pulling my move over here." "Isn't that what you're doing?" "Oh no, you're pinning my queen." "I was pinning your king." "Well, I guess I'll get a little position going, do a little aggressive position." "Yeah, I'm moving my Stormtrooper up to your 3PO. How will he ever survive dishing at the position over here?"
F is for finally. "Fs in the chat, you've moved to the dark side." "G is for good, you are part of the dark side now." "This is gunky." "H is for hello, welcome to the dark side. Sometimes D is for Dark Side, sometimes D is for don't." "Not my STI." "What killed him?" "He tried to pick up his stick again and it poked into his stomach." "Well, that's adorable. It's definitely wacky."
Sometimes D is for Dark Side, sometimes D is for don't.
Sometimes D is for Dark Side, sometimes D is for don't. Oh, what killed him? He tried to pick up his stick again, and it poked into his stomach. Well, that's adorable. It's wacky, definitely wacky. Oh my God, is the Stormtrooper about to land his first shot ever? Very important friends. Jeez, harsh man. I was kind of thinking, what are they going to do? Is he going to be like, "Oh, I'm coming at you" or something? No, he just has him talk and then he shoots him.
No, no Leia, no. Where do you want me to go? Nowhere. He attacks, but he also attacks. Well, I would love for that pawn to not be there anymore. That would be great for me. That would be daddy for me. That would be dir material. I'm living the dir life. Dy Dy life, Dy life, Dy life. Daddy, yeah. Tripper, move forward one space, please. Now, die. Good, very good.
Palpatine is neurodivergent; he's got his little stems. Oh my God, it's so funny. Feeling a little anxious. Oh man, look at this guy, he's just going for it. Daddy's just going for it. Ow, ow, ow. Oh my God, wow, right through his space gullet, right through his disgusting heart. Okay, you take, you take, I take, you take Queen. Damn. Just Palpatine all the way up in the corner. It's my steem night to three, night to all right. Ooh, all right, look at this spooky, naughty, interesting move. I'm a Stompy boy, I love to stomp. You could go anywhere you want with R2, you could go anywhere, you could go anywhere. Take a look, it's in a book, or do you sacrifice your pawn and your Bishop?
Palpatine, do you need any help? No, everything's fine, Lord Vader. Good, it's good, I'm good. I just hear you stemming a lot in there. I'm good. You usually stim when you're anxious. No, I don't. Not me. Okay, I'll be right outside the door. You could be like, not within earshot. Are you sure? Yes, all right. Is something wrong, Lord Palpatine? I told you.
Man, I have never seen a chessboard more poorly than this one. You really have to be like, it's such a mix of like, "Okay, okay," and then there's just a minute where I'm like, "I don't know what the heck is going on." It's like looking at chess in a different language or something. It really is weird. His little hands, he's just so ready to cast lightning. Just give me a chance, yeah, just hit me with that good good.
Am I more of a booba or a Kiki?
Come on, I know it's so exposed. You just want a piece, don't you? I want a what? You just want a piece. A piece? You want a piece of my... Yes, that's interesting, but why? Explain to him as you would a child. Oh, that's pretty funny. You know, I'm starting to think, "screw you," though. So if you do that, then... uh-huh, interesting.
Hey, inter... boba boba. Am I more of a booba or a... Kiki booa fart? I think you're more of a cooko, sir. You think? So my God, interesting. Vader, yes my Lord? Am I more of a boo Boer or a Kiki? I don't know, I'd say you're more of a Kiki, Lord. Interesting. Eyes for interesting. No, it's fine. G is for gourd, Vader, which is what I have named my... pumpkin. Very good, sir. Grandma, talking my more boa or what are you saying? What does that mean? I just think it's the worst. Whatever it is. Well, Mal, Lord, you strike me more as a Kiki. Like he has a definite preference.
Oh, naughty naughty. Oh my God, Jesus, that poor R2 did not put up a fight at all. Good Lord, I mean, I guess that is how it would go. Oh man, that's great. Oh yeah, fine. Oh yeah, you like picks it up on the pointy end, just goes right into his belly. That's... yeah, well Tusken Raiders were never particularly known for their legendary smart prowess. There, I said it. There, I said it the smart way. Oh, look at that. Okay, okay, I got itow. Meow. Oh no, now I can't Castle though 'cause you put me in check. Oh dear. Oh boy, the writers are like 3PO. Whatever works, whatever works. An AT-AT, uh-oh. Oh , this is reg. Ah, oh , oh my head. Whatever, sure. All right, let's see here. Checka.
The dangerous hotness approaches. Not like, is there a way I could choke you from here? It's interesting. It doesn't say check for me. Yeah, it is weird. You've caused quite the conundrum for me. Deide, that's what I've been trying to say this whole time. Well, it still me cast. Oh, it does? Okay, cool. Really, it's... I guess we're playing those roles. Wow, so calm. Yeah, he's like, I don't really have to do much in this game. Oh, this could take a minute. Could you please move?
Even when you mess up, just keep going and do your best.
Please, a big head I have. There's my stump. It's like a dance track. Oh, you naughty naughty man. I'm a trooper. You're naughty. I'm a Storm Trooper. I'm a shoot in your head. I'm a shoot you. I'm a trooper.
Let's try this. Are you going to do it? Am I going to do what? The thing you've been threatening to do forever and now is not as good of a thing for you, but you still do it. I don't know what we're talking about here. I don't know the spaces or else I'd say it out loud. Yeah, okay.
Well, I would like to pin your queen. I guess I'm pinning your knight to your queen. How do you... I don't know. This is quite a pickle. I love pickles. Something funny, my Lord? Yeah. Oh, you scrolling Tick Tock again, my Lord? Yeah, no. Yes, maybe I am. What if I am far away? I must walk. Why would they make Yoda one of like the biggest movers in the game so slow? Oh God, yes. I can move across the entire board.
H, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So you're forcing it to happen, right? Like the force. All right, I made a horrible, horrible move there, but it's fine. Oh damn, yeah, good try. nailed him. Good try, Chewy.
Oh well, well then my um, should something happen? Yeah, is that going to be a tube like sucking them up or something? Man, oh God, I up so bad, but that's fine. Oh man, let's see how Leia kills Vader. You cannot resist the power of the force. Impressive. Impressive. Take that. Wowz, she shot him in the face. War over. Yeah, seriously. Oh, Boba Fett kills Leia. This is like every fanboy's dream. Whoa, oh my god, well done. I cannot get over how badly I up. Oh well, that's okay. You still got two Rooks. Yeah, we can have... I'm going to do my best. Yes, just hold on.
What you gun is, yes. What? Oh wow, he made him shoot himself in the head. Pretty pretty up, isn't it? Crazy man. That's messed up, dog. Okay, can I skip this? Can I... is there a way we... can I love it's so inspirational.
To walk three squares I must. Oh . All right. Christ, look at my AT-ST. It is smaller than me. The pilots must be the size of chipmunks. Oh man, this sucks ass. Yes, God. I... the space out the window like those old Pixy. What year was this? I don't know. This has to be like late 90s. Whoa, whoa. Reporting for duty, sir. Yes, go kiss that man. You got it, sir.
Excellent. Cares for a kiss? You've done. All right, time to get serious. I mean . Okay, uh, I don't want to put myself in hot water here. No, I can't do that. I can't do that. I just simply can't. I simply cannot. Aon, this turn has been like 5 minutes long. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just going. It's okay. It's okay. Hope I don't fall over. Uhoh, was stopping you. I'll get there in time. What is time?
Even in chaos, there's always a way out—just gotta find the right move.
The scene opens with laughter and music, setting a light-hearted tone. However, the mood quickly shifts as one of the participants declares, "All right, time to get serious." They express hesitation, saying, "I don't want to put myself in hot water here," and repeatedly emphasize, "I simply cannot." The turn has been long, and there's a sense of urgency: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just going."
The conversation takes a whimsical turn with references to Yoda and Stormtroopers: "Watching Yoda just make every Stormtrooper blow his own head off, it's wild." This is followed by a dramatic statement, "I will kiss you, and when I do, the dark side will be on your lips." The game continues with strategic considerations: "There is no saving it," and "losing the bishop is the better option." They ponder moves, "Maybe you check palpy," and discuss the implications of each action.
A suggestion is made, "Would you like to know what the best move would have been?" The response is affirmative, leading to an explanation: "The way to get out of that would have been to move your Bishop over one to the right and up one." This is acknowledged with, "Yeah, but it's okay, I've missed stuff this game too."
The game progresses with a mix of frustration and humor: "I don't need to see this again, this is a snuff film," and "Check for The Rook Rook cheick." The dialogue is interspersed with playful banter, "Sir, there's a tiny G man coming at me," and "It Ain't Easy Being Green or cheesy."
The tension builds as one participant realizes their predicament: "I'm toast bro, I'm toast," and contemplates their next move, "I'll move a stormtrooper up here." The realization of a checkmate looms, "Oh that's Checkmate isn't it," leading to laughter and a sense of inevitability.
The conversation continues with strategic insights, "If you move it straight back onto the last row, then it blocks the conduit," and reflections on the nature of the game, "I have to be on the attack at all times." The playful tone persists, "Suck on these nuts now," and "Welcome back, you did your p, now enjoy a Fresh Kiss."
The game reaches its climax with dramatic flair, "Prepare your [laughter]," and a sense of satisfaction, "Mhm satisfied I am." The participants reflect on the experience, "Good game, good game," and express hope for future improvement, "Someday I'll get there."
The scene concludes with a mix of humor and camaraderie, "Someday I'll grab your cocka balls," and a playful farewell, "See you later everyone, bye and may the forest be with you." The final note is a humorous reference to the game's settings, "The look and feel menu, yeah what white on top ah my bul you can see.