I Studied Social Anxiety In Thousands Of Clients And Found This...
Table of contents
- Transform your social skills by dominating the room and making everyone want to know you.
- Your vibe should be so strong that it lifts everyone around you.
- Inject humor and fearlessness into every situation, and watch how it transforms the vibe.
- Keep a strong, positive frame and you'll never be drained by negative energy.
- Life is easy when you take control and stay positive.
- Life is just a fun playground—don't let anyone mess with your positive frame.
- Don't let anyone mess with your frame; stay in your abundance and remember the gift of consciousness.
- Master the basics first, then let go and flow.
- Life is fleeting, but true depth is found in the present moment.
- Being deeply present and in the flow is the ultimate thrill, a pleasure of the soul that transforms every experience into a gift.
- Take control of your own state and stop making excuses.
- Engage with everyone around you to build confidence and improve your social skills, regardless of their reactions.
- People who drink or use drugs care deeply about their state, even more than sober people, because they're willing to harm themselves to achieve it.
- To achieve elite results, let go of the outcome and immerse yourself in the joy of the process.
- Experience this life-changing program in person before it's too late—it's your edge to elite success.
Transform your social skills by dominating the room and making everyone want to know you.
Today, I want to give you a breakdown of the way that I'm able to do the magic that I do, particularly in pulling up a student's frame to my frame when I'm teaching an infield boot camp. Now, what do I mean by infield boot camp? Infield trainings are programs where I don't just teach in a seminar or through video; I teach you in the hardest and most transformative way possible. I take you out to learn about social skills by taking over an entire venue right in front of your very eyes, on a level that you never thought possible. It's like watching a freak of nature and yields the most incredible results.
But I don't just stop there. I get you to do it. I don't care if you have low self-esteem, view yourself as a 2 out of 10, are depressed, short, bald, ugly, fat, or even in a wheelchair like I was for the past three months and still crushed it. I don't care. Do you understand? You're going to win. There are ways that I actually teach this. Typically, you never hear me talking about infield trainings because I have about a 22-year list of people that fill up and clog all the programs. However, I thought I would talk about it here today because why not? It's my real passion.
If you ever want to get onto an infield training with me, they're super packed out, and I'm doing a podcast next year, so I want to mention it here. If it's on your bucket list to go out with me and crush it at the club before you die, shoot me a DM with your name, phone number, email, and a time to call you. If you can't figure out how to provide these basics, there's not much I can do for you. If you want to do a proper infield training, the real training, not some fake stuff, while I'm still doing these little boutique ones before I start the podcast next year, this is your chance. I'm putting the word out and will do a couple of video series about this before pulling the plug on it. You won't be able to find it online; this will be the only way to do it. I don't even have a website for this, so I thought I would do it through Instagram.
When I'm on an infield training, my job is to take over the whole club, which means I've got to be the dominant, most popular guy in that club. That doesn't mean I walk around like that every day of my life. Some days I go out and I'm quiet with my friends, just chatting and chilling. But when it's time to crush it, it's time to crush it. If I've made the choice to crush it tonight, the first step is to pull that club up to my frame. I go into an environment where nobody knows me at all, and I have to be so good at this that I can ingratiate myself with basically the entire venue. I aim to be friends with most of the people there. Sure, you'll have the odd person who doesn't want to talk to you, and that's okay, but most people will. You might have the odd bad night here and there, but usually, you're going to smash it.
What you're looking for is to get someone who is very attractive to buy into the frame that, even though you might not be that physically attractive, you're someone they're very lucky to know and are attracted to. You also want to socialize with people and make friends with those you want to be friends with, ensuring they highly value your time and think you're incredibly cool, fighting and competing for your attention. This is the first level of being good at this. I've taught you how to do that for many years, and I hope you can do that. Even though the best people still get training, I hope you've got a base level of knowledge from all my teachings.
Your vibe should be so strong that it lifts everyone around you.
The concept of attractiveness often extends beyond physical appearance. It's about creating a frame where, even if you aren't conventionally attractive, people feel very lucky to know you and are attracted to your personality. This involves socializing and making friends with the kind of people you want to be around, ensuring they highly value your time, think you're incredibly cool, and compete for your attention. This is the first level of mastering social skills, something I've taught for many years. I hope you have a base level of knowledge from my teachings, though even the best still seek training.
The hard part, however, is teaching these skills to others, especially those with low self-esteem, who are depressed, negative, or energy vampires. To help such individuals, you must have an incredibly strong frame that emanates positivity, much like a giant marshmallow that makes everyone around you feel super positive and have an amazing time. This is a classic Guru approach. For instance, when Eckhart Tolle gets on stage, everyone becomes super present. Similarly, Anthony Robbins can motivate a room of 20,000 people. My strength lies in making people very social, fearless, funny, relaxed, and confident, creating a chill, social, Zen-like atmosphere.
One of the first lessons I learned, which is a bit of a history lesson, dates back to when I started doing infield training in 2002. After these sessions, I often felt mentally exhausted because I poured my soul into my students. This changed when a business competitor's manager pointed out that I allowed myself to be pulled down to others' frames, unlike his colleague who pulled others up to his frame. This realization pissed me off but also motivated me to change. I took this advice to heart and started ensuring that no one could pull down my frame.
Interestingly, years later, I found out that the person who gave me this advice also got exhausted after training, despite claiming otherwise. Nevertheless, that one discussion changed my life. As a teacher, I now ensure that no one can be negative, afraid, stuck in their head, or too serious around me. My goal is to create an environment where everyone is laughing, not taking themselves seriously, and feeling fearless. It's akin to being a good skydiving instructor or, as another example, being in a boat in Hawaii where they shoot you up on a parachute attached to a cable.
Inject humor and fearlessness into every situation, and watch how it transforms the vibe.
I had a discussion with him that changed my life. As a teacher, I realized that nobody will pull down my frame. Nobody is able to be negative, afraid, or stuck in their head around me. Nobody is able to be too serious around me. What I have to do is roll into an environment and get everybody laughing, not taking themselves seriously, and being fearless. It's like being a good skydiving instructor.
I remember once in Hawaii, I was on a boat where they would shoot you up on a parachute attached to a cable at the back of the boat. I kept asking the guy on the boat if the cable was going to break because my brain was thinking if it did, I could die or float off somewhere. Rather than giving me statistics on cable breakages, the Hawaiian guy, in a pigeon accent, joked that the shark would be waiting for me in the ocean with its mouth open. This made me laugh and showed me that nothing was serious, pulling me up to his frame of nothing being serious.
Although it wasn't necessarily true, and the guy probably didn't know the cable's condition, it made me go for it. I had a great day, saw Hawaii from a parachute, and had a beautiful experience. I've also done actual tandem skydiving. When I was 22, I woke up one morning and decided to go skydiving on impulse. I grabbed my buddy Sammy and drove down to Gananoque, a tiny town in Canada. We hopped into a rickety plane that felt safer to skydive out of than to land in. The instructors made funny faces and kept the vibe very chill, making the inherently stressful environment feel light-hearted.
These teachers knew that if they showed even the slightest bit of fear, the clients would get unnerved and might not jump. By making inherently scary activities like skydiving, parachuting, or bungee jumping seem not a big deal, they could pull people up to their frame. It was weird but effective. A decade later, I heard that he gets tired after trainings, and in my natural competitiveness, I thought, "No, I've got to pull people up to my frame.
Keep a strong, positive frame and you'll never be drained by negative energy.
The key to maintaining a chill vibe in inherently stressful environments, such as skydiving or bungee jumping, lies in the demeanor of the instructors. If these teachers show even the slightest bit of fear, the clients will become unnerved and hesitant. However, if you can get people to engage in activities that are inherently scary but present them as not a big deal, you can pull them up to your frame of mind. This approach allows you to maintain control and keep the atmosphere relaxed.
A decade later, I heard that someone gets tired after training sessions, and my natural competitiveness kicked in. I was determined to pull people up to my frame. I coined the term energetic condom to describe this concept. Many in-field teachers complain that students can leech energy from them, but I tell them they have it wrong. The energetic condom is a mental barrier that protects your energy.
Imagine teaching a small group of people: statistically, at least one person will be very negative. Even if that's you, I can still train you. The point is, there could be someone who is an energy leech, someone amazing, and everyone in between. The energetic condom works like a real condom in an imaginary world where condoms are 100% effective. If you wore an energetic condom, you wouldn't know if someone was a negative influence because you wouldn't be affected by it.
By setting a strong frame that we're going to have an awesome time, I create an impenetrable, bulletproof environment. I manufacture my own energy by getting super present, tapping into my own awareness and joy of existence, and not needing anything external to be positive or negative. Everyone around me gets into the zone.
By the fourth day of boot camp, everyone is flying high, feeling like they're walking on water. They realize they never had to be depressed or upset and that they are in control. They understand that life can be easy and that they are at the cause, not the effect. Heaven is being a first mover connected to God, making life easy, while hell is being a victim and finding the world hard.
When you're struggling, remember that it's not hard; it's easy. This is the biggest takeaway from my in-field training. I will give you millions of dollars' worth of communication advice, teach you how to free associate, talk continuously, emotionally regulate yourself, and keep yourself in a positive state.
Life is easy when you take control and stay positive.
Easy—this is what you don't understand. I've talked about this in many other videos: life can be like heaven, life can be like hell. Hell is being a victim, hell is the world being hard. Heaven is being at the cause and being a first mover, connected to God, the first mover. Heaven is the world being easy. So, this is what you need to understand: when you're out there and you're struggling, it's not hard—that's what you don't get. It's easy. That's the biggest thing that you'll get from me on infield training.
I'll give you millions of dollars in my view of communication advice. I will change your communication in ways that you have no idea. I'll teach you how to free associate, how to talk and talk, how to emotionally regulate yourself, and how to keep yourself in state. I'll show you entire schematics and processes of how to work a club. I will show you when to do every single thing so you'll know from top to bottom every single thing to do. I'll show you technique, give you personal feedback, show you how it's done in person, get you doing it, and give you corrections in the field. All that stuff—it's awesome.
Remember, I told you earlier that if you've watched my free tours and my videos, my outdoor videos, you've never seen the real teaching. I'm giving you insight here into the real teaching. This is the real Owen. This is my life for decades—this is what I really do. The real teaching is not some stuff on YouTube that you watch for infotainment, which basically just pumps numbers up to make me look good. For the real students, the real students do the infield training. The real students want the transformation. The real students want dramatic and fast transformation very, very, very quickly. They want it fast, they want it now.
By the way, if you want to know what I'm talking about, if you're live right now and you're just getting here, shoot me a DM if you want that kind of transformation and you're serious about it. I don't offer this on the internet. These are full stacked out months in advance usually. The reason why is because I have a 22-year list of people that clamor to get on these. These are usually veterans who wound up making money from the program and they wind up coming back. So, a lot of who I teach are very, very satisfied wealthy alumni. Everybody around me—at least not everybody because I don't want to make some weird guarantee—but the majority of people that are around me get so much success they want to keep learning. I don't need to push it on them; they're pushing me to keep teaching them.
As a result of that, I don't really talk about infield training that much. But because I'm taking it away and moving more into podcasting this coming year, I'm mentioning it here. Once you don't hear me mention that again, there's not going to be a website, nowhere that you can find it, nowhere to reach out. So, if you want to reach out now, just shoot me a DM—Owen Cook on Instagram. Use the DM name, phone number, email, and time to call you.
Alright, so that's if you want to meet me in person and you want to actually change. You want to change quick, but only do so if you're serious. Now, as I'm doing this kind of training and I'm putting this kind of frame into the room, people are realizing for the first time how much the social conditioning is dragging them down. You ever heard this idea that you become who you hang out with? Like, you become who you hang out with—that's real. When you're around a real leader who's putting their nuts on the line like that but while doing it is in a super, super, super good mood, it's a shift in the energy.
Like a real kind of wizard, they're able to shift the energy of a room. They're able to get the whole room laughing, keep the room and the vibe and the energy up. It's coming in just wave after wave after wave—it's like a tsunami, you can't resist it. Like a great Guru has such precise energetic control that they are like a tsunami—there's nothing you could do to resist. Imagine just being in front of a master comedian, and that comedian just gets you laughing and laughing. Say a guy like Bill Burr or Russell Brand at his peak with comedy, where he's just so funny, it's like try not to laugh, and you're like, "I can't not laugh because this guy's frame is so strong, he's so funny, I can't not laugh." That is what a great infield teacher is like. They're so much in state, so much in the zone, so positive, so abundant. But the big thing is, the world is a light place for them. The world is just light—it's a joke, it's funny.
Life is just a fun playground—don't let anyone mess with your positive frame.
Resisting it is like facing a great Guru who has such precise energetic control that they are like a tsunami. There's nothing you could do to resist. Imagine being in front of a master comedian, someone like Bill Burr or Russell Brand at his peak with comedy. They are just so funny that you can't help but laugh. Their frame is so strong and they are so funny that you can't resist laughing. This is what a great infield teacher is like. They are so in state, so in the zone, so positive, and so abundant. The big thing is that the world is a light place for them; the world is just light, it's a joke, it's funny.
I was out with my friend Masha the other night, and Masha is maybe the most amazing woman I've met in my life. She's incredible. She showed me how she likes to release, to cry and get stuff out, and yes, that's healthy. I've done release work, but what I want to show her someday is that there's a whole other paradigm. This is a paradigm where you're not stuffing your pain, hiding from your pain, or medicating your pain. Instead, you just don't have pain. When you connect to the source and realize this is just a big fun playground, a beautiful playground, it doesn't matter if you get rejected, if someone doesn't like you, if somebody is mean to you, if you didn't get what you want in the moment, or even if somebody threatened to kill you. It doesn't matter because you know that you're a soul and that this life will blink by. It's just all fun.
Unfortunately, we live in a reality where the frame is so frenetic, with people looking at social media apps, wasting time, and having a low value for time and joy. But for me, when I'm teaching, the frame that I'm putting everywhere is one of extreme gratitude and the extreme beauty of life. Just recognizing that we're out here at this boot camp, we're a crew, a family, and we are going to smash it tonight. You see everyone smashing it, laughing, dancing, and getting results, running off on adventures. It's just wild. It's the most wild experience, and you can see why I kept teaching this for years because it's so beautiful.
For me, learning how to not only do it myself but to share that frame is crucial. I really do what I can to try to share this frame with you over live broadcasts, videos that I shoot in nature, and seminars. I try to bring that energy to you and share it in these environments as best as I can. In seminars, I push the envelope, trying different methods of teaching—positive ways, negative ways, funny ways, serious ways, structured ways, unstructured ways. I try everything, pushing the edge. But there's only so much I can do in a video without interaction with you. If I can get my energy connected to your energy and we can work together collaboratively, the things I can do for you from years of doing this will show you an entirely different way.
My goal is to elevate you to my frame, not to be pulled down into somebody's frame. The lesson for you is to stay in your abundance. If you have a girlfriend and she's a bit chaotic, or if you're a girl with a boyfriend, or in a same-sex couple, do not let the other person mess with your frame. If someone is harassing you, don't let them mess with your frame. If you have a coworker or an employee, don't let them mess with your frame. You've got to stay in your abundance. In the Bible, when it talks about loving your enemies, it's because they're trying to get you into a competitive state where they mess with your frame, making you forget that we're all souls.
Don't let anyone mess with your frame; stay in your abundance and remember the gift of consciousness.
If you're serious about training with me, the major lesson starts right now, this millisecond. If you have a girlfriend and she's a bit chaotic, or if you're in a same-sex couple, do not let the other person mess with your frame. This applies to anyone harassing you, coworkers, or employees. You've got to stay in your abundance. The Bible talks about loving your enemies because they try to get you into a competitive state where they mess with your frame, making you forget that we're all souls. They're trying to get you to forget about your infinite nature.
This is a deep concept, but we'll gloss over it today because it requires further insight. When someone becomes your enemy, they're trying to knock you off your perch of being happy and joyful, trying to get you to contract and shrink. When you say, "Even if you're my enemy, I love you to death," you maintain your frame. You might think of them as being possessed by some negative energy, not as their true self. Much like when Luke Skywalker rescues Darth Vader, believing there's good in him despite his dark side. Eventually, Darth Vader lets go of the dark side and redeems himself before he dies. This shows that even enemies are just possessed by negative energy, not their base consciousness.
In any environment filled with negativity, scarcity, and a lack of joy, it's all a delusion. Our mere existence is a gift. The gift of consciousness is rare and precious. So, what does it matter if you face rejection, nervousness, or anxiety? We need to celebrate our existence. This frame of mind is something I practice daily and share in my training programs. I benefit from it just as much as I teach it.
In pushing this frame onto my students, I create pragmatic methodologies. Rather than overwhelming you with every single technique on day one, I focus on getting you to work a venue effectively. The human brain remembers only a small percentage of what we read, hear, and do. On day one, I aim to get you to a point where you can work a venue effectively. Once you can do that, we can begin the real teaching. Until then, we're limited in what we can teach you.
My personal take is that if I can get you to the point within two or three hours where you can go to any venue, get in state, and have proactive control over your state, then the teaching can begin. Until then, the teaching can't really start because you're not yet ready to apply what you're learning.
Master the basics first, then let go and flow.
You can work a venue effectively. Now we can begin to teach, but until you can work a venue effectively, we're very limited in what we can teach you. The base level for anyone to learn this, from my point of view—this is just my personal take on it, everyone's got a different take—is that if I can get you to the point within two to three hours that you can go to any venue, rapidly get in state, have proactive control over your state, and work through that venue, then the teaching begins. But until we've got you to that point, the teaching doesn't really begin, does it? Because it can't. It can't really begin because now we're just like, "Hey, remember to say this," or "Look for this certain indicator of interest," or "Look for this facial expression." It's just a bunch of useless information. But if we can get you into momentum on day one, where you're meeting just everybody, then we can start teaching you.
So what I'm looking to do is get you to think about how you're working a venue. I remember back to Kobe Bryant in Game 7 against the Boston Celtics, which he eventually won. He was like 6 for 24 that night; he had a low shooting percentage. He played a lot of gritty defense because he knew that his shot wasn't falling initially. He was able to pull it together at the end, thank God, and he won the series—the most important finals of his life—LA versus the Celtics, a big rivalry. They had lost two years earlier. I remember at the end of it, Phil Jackson, who also coached Michael Jordan, said—I was actually at that game, it was amazing—Phil Jackson, who was also the coach of Michael Jordan, said the problem with Kobe was he wanted it too much. He just wanted it too much. He wanted to win so bad that he couldn't get in rhythm. This is what you'll see in NBA basketball games, right? A lot of these highly intense playoff games are a little bit too mechanical. They're too mechanical and they haven't lost themselves in the game. When the game really gets good is when they stop thinking so much and lose themselves in the game.
This is me doing seminars. I want to lose myself in the seminar. This is me when I go out. It's kind of weird to think about it. You're like, "Okay, it's like 9:30, we're going to be out here till like 2:00 in the morning or 5:00 in the morning depending on the city. Are we really going to be out here for like four hours or even up to seven hours? Like 9:30 until 5:30 in the morning? That's a long time, right?" Even me, when I do seminars, for example, right, say I'm running it from 2 p.m.—like the free events that I do—from 2 p.m. until at least midnight. And you pause and think to yourself, "That is pretty crazy. I'm going to be here for 10 hours." And if it's one of those four-day ones, I'm like, "I'm going to be screaming into this audience for 10 hours for four days. I'm going to be screaming for 40 cumulative hours. Oh my God." And you're like, "What the [__]? This is crazy." Think about the fact that literally, I'm going out four or five nights a week, and every night that I'm going out, it's like four or five hours. And you say to yourself, "This is madness. This is a lot of hours."
Here's what you don't understand. Time is relative. Four hours can seem like a nightmare, a hell of a long time. Like they joke in combat, Conor McGregor's like, "You're about to have a long night. You're about to have a long night." That means you're having a hard night, right? You're not in flow. But see, the infinite for human beings—our lives are so short. Statistically speaking, most people that will be watching this will be watching after I'm dead. Statistically speaking, this isn't real right now. Like, "Oh, it's alive Owen," and it's like the person watching is alive. Do you understand that most people that will be watching this will be watching this after I'm dead? I should literally just make these videos for after I'm dead. "Hello, people that are watching me when I'm dead." That's real. So I'm a dead man walking, you're a dead man or woman walking, we're all dead. We can't find the infinite in the finite.
Life is fleeting, but true depth is found in the present moment.
A long night often means you're having a hard night, right? You're not in flow. The infinite for human beings is elusive because our lives are so short. Statistically speaking, most people watching this will be watching after I'm dead. This isn't real right now, right? It's live, and the person watching is alive. Do you understand that most people will be watching this after I'm dead? I should literally make these videos for after I'm dead. Hello, people watching me when I'm dead—that's real.
So, I'm a dead man walking, and you're a dead man or woman walking. We're all dead. We can't find the infinite in the breadth of our lives. Even if you lived to be 120 years old, that's nothing. What does it matter that some guy a thousand years ago lived to be 120 years old? It's nothing. You'll never find the infinite in the breadth. It's great to do life extension and anti-aging stuff; it's awesome. But you're never going to find the infinite in breadth. We find the infinite in our mortal human forms in these mortal bodies, in the depth where we access the core essence of our very souls. Understand that when you go out, it's forever and it's a millisecond. The time feels like hours, but it's a millisecond—boom, gone. You're so much in the zone, you just whoa, whoa, whoa, this is crazy, right?
Let's say you've known me for a long time. Maybe you've watched my content since way back in the day. Look how fast it's gone, right? If you've been watching me a long time, it's like, where did the time go? That happens on a year-to-year basis, decade-to-decade basis, and it happens in a night. You live an entire life in a night. Crazy things happen; you're responsive, you're in the flow of it, you're in the flow of the game. I love everything about it. It makes meditation look trivial by comparison. Meditation is amazing, you know, various types of meditation you can do. But this isn't just meditation; this is active meditation.
It's amazing to do meditation just staring at a wall or closing your eyes or being at an ashram because you're learning to lower the stimulation and stay deeply present in the stimulation. That's why people who come back from Vipassana meditation retreats, which often last 10 days, have a powerful experience. They learn to be deeply present with no stimulation. Something like this is different, whether it's public speaking or infield trainings. You get into a deeply profound trance and are super present, but the stimulus makes you more present. The loud noise, screaming, and chaos force you to go deeper within yourself. You get so present to it that you shine a light within yourself, and it gets so bright that even in the dark chaos, that bright light just shines out.
People can sense there's something different about you. They might say, "I've never met somebody like this." When you do this right and emanate energy, people start screaming, "He's awesome, he's awesome!" They get very attracted to you and start to freak out because you're so deeply present and in the flow of it. It is so much fun; it is such a thrill. You might ask yourself, what's more fun—going out or physical intimacy? It's just different. What's better—skydiving or eating a steak dinner and a milkshake? They're just different. One is a pleasure of the senses, the other is a pleasure of the soul. As you get more into this, you love both. Who doesn't want to eat a steak? I want to eat a steak, but I love being in that flow state. Over time, you develop a palate for it, and every flow state has a different characteristic of any given night.
Being deeply present and in the flow is the ultimate thrill, a pleasure of the soul that transforms every experience into a gift.
When people start to freak out, they get very attracted to you because you're so deeply present and in the flow of it. It is so much fun and such a thrill. You might ask yourself, what's more fun: going out or engaging in physical intimacy? It's just different. What's better: skydiving or eating a steak dinner and a milkshake? They're just different. One is a pleasure of the senses, the other is a pleasure of the soul. As you get more and more into this, you love both. Who doesn't want to eat a steak? I want to eat a steak, but I love being in that flow state. Over time, you develop a palate for it, and every flow state you experience has a different characteristic of any given night. Every night is a gift, and you just get into that flow state.
You can imagine that if you're coming from this kind of frame, what I'm teaching you on boot camp is what I'm trying to instill in you. What's funny is that everybody I work with—coaches, friends—all understand this. They all have this exact same vibe, which is just understanding how to get in that zone. When I sit here with you, it's like getting onto a roller coaster. Usually, I do these sessions for around an hour, sometimes 45 minutes, or even two hours. It's like you just get in, and it's like a roller coaster going to the top. You know, you're just going up, like, "Alright, let's go," and then you just go down. That's how I've lived my life for many years. On the weekends, I'm teaching, and I meet you in person. Whatever frame you're in, I'm okay with that. You can be positive. There are guys who are literal billionaires, guys who are already crushing it and very advanced, and we're probably the only people they can go to learn from. We also have people who are intermediate and people who are new. It doesn't matter to me where somebody's at; I'm there to bring energy to you, to be the best teacher I can possibly be, and just bring energy and show you the way.
My goal is to get you into that trance state on the first night. Everything I'm teaching you is how to access that trance state so you can work a venue in a flow state, no booze involved. A lot of people who take boot camp actually say they save money because they don't drink. Basically, no booze, just work your way around the venue and take over because you're in this complete, total flow state. It's just perfect. Once you're in that mode, maybe we'll make the next video about how to achieve that state. I love the themes we've established here for this video.
Let's talk a little bit about methodology and how to think about this. How do you think about working a venue? You have the frame that I'm pulling you up to, which takes inner work but also requires learning directly from a guru in person. It's very hard to get that on your own at home. You can, but I personally went directly to sit at the feet of masters like Eckhart Tolle and many other teachers of presence to get that. There's a reason I paid a gazillion dollars to be as close to the front row as I could for every Kobe Bryant game when he was playing for the Lakers before he passed. You want to get around it, do whatever it takes to get around that. In my personal experience, I've spent vast fortunes just to get around people like this because I want to pick up on it.
From there, you want to think about the layout of the venue itself. Let me give you a couple of quick examples. One example would be to think of the venue like a square. These are just practical ways to think about it.
Take control of your own state and stop making excuses.
I spent vast fortunes to be as close to the front row as I could for every Kobe Bryant game when he was playing for the Lakers before he passed. You want to get around it; you want to do whatever it takes to get around that. In my personal experience, I've done that because I want to pick up on it now. Why? Because we're stuck in this super conditioning.
From there, you want to think about the layout of the venue itself. Let me give you a couple of quick examples here. One example would be to think of the venue like a square. These are just practical ways to think of it. So, what is the typical way that you mess up your night? The common way is that you go in there, and here's what it's going to look like: you're going to go into your night, and you're going to sit there and be like, "Okay, I want someone to like me." So, you get in the venue and begin to wander around. As you're wandering around, you're getting less and less in the zone because you're walking by people you're thinking of approaching but don't. This makes you feel bad about yourself, breaking promises to yourself, and not controlling your own frame. What's happening is that you're getting loss after loss because you're being a coward and making excuses.
You have action-taking momentum and excuse-making momentum, and you've got to be active in controlling your own experience through this process. I view getting in state in a nightclub as like jerking off. Obviously, it's very different; you shouldn't be jerking off for real. I'm saying that as a metaphor, not something to actually do. In the same way, I compare it to jerking off because, in effect, you are controlling your own state and mood. In the case of jerking off, you literally make yourself simulate that you're having sex just by using your brain to think that you're having sex, so you literally ejaculate. That shows the power of state control. If you don't think you have state control and you can jerk off, you've got more state control than you realize.
Combine that with taking a dump. If you take a dump and push, what happens? Your ass tightens up; it's going to blow your ass apart. I don't technically know that, but let's say you clench your ass cheeks and push. Maybe try it out and let me know. Instead, when you take a dump, you just let go. So, it's a combination of letting go but kind of like jerking yourself off. That's the analogy.
When you're out there, it's like you let go but control your own state. You manicure your own state and take full control over it while letting go. A simple example that I'll give to students, which I do myself, is after every single interaction, I say, "Thousand out of 10, thousand out of 10." I find something. Initially, I'll get you to say that to internalize it, but in truth, it's more of a nervous system response in your own head. Who would have the balls to do that? Maybe look at something you might fine-tune about it. Should I have gotten a little closer? Should I have been further? Should I have been funnier? Should I have been more serious? You might tweak or fine-tune something and then find something funny about it.
Let's look at that sequence: who would have the balls to do that? Notice the nervous system. Watch the difference: who would have the balls to do that? That does nothing. Who would have the balls to do that? Right in the nervous system, spiking the nervous system. You win. Why do you win? Because who would have the balls to do that?
Engage with everyone around you to build confidence and improve your social skills, regardless of their reactions.
When evaluating your approach, you might want to fine-tune certain aspects. For instance, you might ask yourself, "Should I have gotten a little closer? Should I have been further away? Should I have been funnier or more serious?" This process involves tweaking or fine-tuning your actions and then finding something humorous about it.
onsider the sequence: "Who the [] would have the balls to do that?" Notice the nervous system's reaction. Compare: "Who the [] would chave the balls to do that?" versus "Who the [] would have the balls to do that?" The latter spikes the nervous system, making you win. Why? Because **"who the [] would have the balls to do that?" rates a thousand out of 10. This rating is illogical but significant because you did it sober. Most people you see are not sober; they are often with others and not meeting people while sober. Thus, doing it sober demonstrates super Courage**.
When you are purely sober, you control your own state, giving yourself an irrational rating of a thousand out of 10. This is because "who the [__] could do that?" You fine-tune your approach, objectively aware, and find humor in it, leading to laughter. This process gives you the win.
A simple method to engage with people is to do it in a square pattern. Talk to every person along the square's top, bottom, and corners, giving yourself extra props at each corner. Take a break when you complete the square. By the end, you will be in a flow state, having met many people, feeling good about it. This approach prevents you from feeling like a leaf in the wind, where repeated rejections lead to a worsened state.
Instead of seeking approval, your goal is to engage everyone. Engage people for 2-3 minutes, maybe longer, but maintain the mission of engaging everyone in the venue. This mission is independent of their approval. Within 45 minutes, many people will know you, enhancing your state. Good state management will cause your state to improve continuously.
Some people might say state doesn't matter. Often, these are people who drink or use drugs. They might say, "Why care about your state? Just do it anyway." However, drinkers care the most about state because they poison their bodies to achieve it. Another group that doesn't care about state is psychopaths, who cannot experience a flow state.
People who drink or use drugs care deeply about their state, even more than sober people, because they're willing to harm themselves to achieve it.
Alcoholics, drinkers, or drug users often exhibit a common disdain for the concept of State. They might question, "Why would you care about your state? Just do it anyway." However, the irony lies in the fact that those who drink actually care the most about their state. They are willing to poison their body and brain, making themselves unhealthy on a regular basis to achieve a certain state. This indicates that they care about it even more than a sober person does, although they might not admit it.
Another group that doesn't care about state is psychopaths. Over the years, I've known people who are psychopaths, and these individuals cannot experience a flow state. They are cut off from what some might call God or the flow, lacking a range of emotions. Psychopaths and narcissists are often in constant competition with others, always derogating and comparing themselves. They lack a solid identity, so their sense of self is based on their relative standing compared to others. They obsess over where they stand, belittling those who threaten them and elevating those who don't, often referred to as "flying monkeys."
Psychopaths and narcissists hate the idea of State because they see others' joy and it makes them angry. They despise the process, which is a representation of the ever-changing nature of the universe. The universe is always in flux, always in a dance, with no ultimate outcome—only temporary ones. Everything is in a constant state of change, as explained by the law of entropy in physics. We are not actually going anywhere; we are process, we are flow. The more one identifies with results, ego, and comparisons to others, the more they block the flow.
People who talk about love for the process and flow tend to be peak performers who are crazily focused on achieving certain outcomes. They realize that if they don't engage in the process itself, it weakens them towards that outcome. By fully letting go of the outcome and paradoxically driving the flow state towards it, they achieve remarkable results. To understand this better, I recommend studying books like "Stealing Fire" and "The Rise of Superman" by Steven Kotler. These books provide insights into the statistics and experiences of top athletes and performers.
If you want to see the results of engaging in the process, come learn from me in person. Observe my improvisational humor, vocal projection, off-the-cuff seminars, and how I work a venue. All of this is achieved through a process I've cultivated over decades and will continue to refine. This teaching is of elite caliber, not for the faint of heart, dabblers, or tourists. It is for those who are serious and committed.
To achieve elite results, let go of the outcome and immerse yourself in the joy of the process.
Towards an outcome, that's when you get that crazy result. If you want to see the results of that, come out and learn from me in person. Look at my improvisational humor, look at the way that I'm using my voice, look at vocal projection, look at off-the-cuff seminars, look at how I work a venue, and look at how I can impose my frame and vibe onto a venue. This is all done via a process which I've cultivated over decades and will continue to as long as God allows me to be on this Earth. It's a beautiful thing.
This is basically an elite level teaching. This is a top-caliber, elite-level teaching. It is not for the faint of heart, it is not for dabblers, it is not for tourists, and it is not for people who are not serious. This is for people who are deadly serious about going to the very top and getting the best results possible. Paradoxically, we say to ourselves that to be the best, we let go of it while furiously driving towards it. We let go of it to get into that flow state and then direct that flow state to that outcome. This is a transcendent level understanding.
When you're watching a guy like Tom Brady down by the most amount of points by halftime in the Super Bowl against Atlanta, and you see him bounce back, that's the kind of flow state I'm talking about. When you see LeBron James down three games to one against the Golden State Warriors, who won the most games of any team ever in the regular season, and he comes back, these guys are accessing flow states on the highest level.
By the way, Klay Thompson, at one point, was being interviewed after they were up 3-1 and no team had ever lost a final when up 3-1. They asked how he compared himself to the 1980s Lakers. Stephen Curry was like, "Well, you know," and then Klay jumped in and said, "We're better than those Lakers." The millisecond Klay said that, I knew LeBron and Kyrie Irving were going to come back for the first time ever from three games down and win. I knew it because his ego was now attached, which means he was cut off from flow.
The really good thing about the Golden State Warriors that season was that they were in it for the joy of the dance. In tribal leadership, they talk about level five leadership where you're truly in it not to compete with anybody but just for the joy of the dance itself. Klay Thompson revealed that he was in it for outcome and ego, not for flow. When we have such joy for the game, public speaking, social skills, or going out, and you find that deep, infinite joy in the process itself, that is when you will smash it.
What I do is create a process for you when you're going around a venue. I'm trying to get you to execute on that and get you into a massive flow state. I'm going to pull you up to my frame, have an entire group resonating and vibrating at that level, and impose that fun into the environment so that the environment is having fun. That's when the night just pops off. You've got to see this in person. There's a reason why I teach these programs. You owe it to yourself to see this as a life experience.
As far as improving your communication, dating life, social life, friends, networking, or meeting people professionally, you need to see this. My buddy Sid dropped out of mergers and acquisitions for several years to learn this because he knew it was the superpower he was missing and the edge that would make him millions. Taking training with me is not meant to be something where you're losing money; it's meant to be something where it gives you such a powerful edge.
Experience this life-changing program in person before it's too late—it's your edge to elite success.
You've got to see this in person. There's a reason why I teach these programs. You owe it to yourself to experience this as a life event. As far as improving your communication, dating life, social life, friends, networking, meeting people, and professional life, this is essential. My buddy Sid dropped out of mergers and acquisitions for several years to learn this because he knew that this was the superpower he was missing, and he knew that this was the edge that was going to make him millions. I want to share that with you.
Taking a training with me is not meant to be something where you're losing money. It's meant to be something where it is such a powerful edge over your competition. You've learned from the best, from the people that are the most serious. You’ve learned not just from people in a seminar room or from videos, but from someone who puts it on the line. They have to be that good at it to produce the kind of results I'm talking about. You might think I'm exaggerating, but this is actually an understatement of what it's like for me. It might sound like I'm being cocky, but it's actually humble because the program is not just about me. I'm the anchor, but the other people there are also incredibly good. These programs attract such good people who are receptive and serious. They are not just there to waste time.
These are the best of the best people to network with. The cost to attend acts as a screen, ensuring that only serious and positive people invest in it. When I come in and anchor that, getting everyone in that state, the things we do are incredible. I want you to experience this. I don't have a website for this, and you won't see me selling it online because I have a 22-year list, and these things fill up on their own through word of mouth and top-end one-on-one clients.
If you want to get in, my personal view is that I won't be teaching this past this year because I will be focusing on podcasting. If you want to experience this before I move on to other plans, hop on now. I'm not trying to fill these things; they fill up on their own. If you're serious, hit me up with your name, phone number, email, and a time to call you. If you're a dabbler, don't bother. But if you're a massive action taker who cares about your results and bucket list experiences, and you think you could do something with this, then contact me.
To wrap up, the big takeaways from this video are: do not allow people to pull you down to their frame; pull others up to your frame. Focus on flow states and processes that generate flow states. Appreciate the beauty of the process and how we direct it towards outcomes to get elite-level results. Anyone not doing it this way is not serious about the results. The joy and satisfaction you get from this keep you young, sharp, and awaken the soul. Hope you enjoyed the video. Be back with more soon. Peace.